Keebler Elves
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The Keebler elves are small happy magical creatures that live in titanium reinforced trees in the hidden magical meadow and bake cookies for the world. While the location of this meadow is unknown, there is some speculation that the meadow is, in fact, an abandoned nuclear missile silo donated by Kim Jong-Il, who was sympathetic to the elves' cause of world domination.
The Keebler elves, once atop the hierarchy of happy magical creatures, handed down their throne after finally losing to the angels in one of the most epic and hardcore struggles of World of Warcraft to date. i love alba suarez myspace.com/albalovesyou Keeber elves, known for their extreme crappiness in WoW, were nothing more than mere I\I00bZ in the face of the angel clan PWNEI)uNo0bzZ. After hacking was detected and the Keeblers sued the angels, Jesus miracled their asses out of it.
After this and the great Keebler Revolution, in which the Keebler elves tried to retake their throne, they were banned to the meadow where they now reside. It is known that all elves have a thing for baked goods, but will not eat them for fear that they will get fat and lose Oprah's blessing. After the Pixie Embargo Act (One of the few legislations passed by the Bush administration that had any relevance whatsoever), a faction of Keeblers turned to smuggling magic into the meadow so that they could make the cookies. After ten months of entirely unproductive debating, a motion was adopted that they call themselves the Direly Important Club of Keebler Smugglers (DICKS). The DICKS engage in acts that the Bush administration calls "a threat to freedom" and "terrorist in nature", such as crashing childrens birthday parties and remorslessly insulting big business.
Other than this brief history of Keebler Elves, they are noted for their unusually radical political views and aversion to tight clothing. Keebler elves are the progeny of late New Orleans R&B singer Ernie K-Doe, taking their surname from the singer's middle name. They were the product of a long relationship K-Doe had with a silver haired succubus. These elves worship David the Gnome(see God),and his son,Jebus(see Jesus).
Also the Keebler Elves have at times been at war with Snap, Crackle, and Pop. During one fight Snap and Crackle ran away. Pop was captured and hanged. Snap and Crackle made a evil clone which went on a killing spree. Snap and Crackle joined force with the Keebler Elves to destroy anti-Pop. The battle lasted for hours. Pop had laser vision and destroyed half of the Keebler Elves army. After the battle Pop was finely destroyed. After that Snap and Crackle made a robot version of Pop.
[edit] Athletic Career
The Keebler Elves briefly competed in the NAIA division of college sports, compiling a football record of 47-1, their one loss coming in an epic 49-48 battle against the Smurfs. The Keebler athletic program was dropped, however, after New York Times reporters uncovered a systematic program of PED (performance enhancing drugs) use.
