Kenny G

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Kenny G (real name Kenneth G) is an influential American cacophonist and composer. Known for his musical virtuosity and great sandwiches, his influence extends well beyond jazz into the realms of musique concrete and folktronica.

[edit] Early Career (Baroque Period)

Kenny G was born in Washington DC in 1956. As with most jazzers, it was the experience of being abused as a child which drove him to take up the saxifrage at the age of 14. He had his first professional gig with Count Basie's band playing sixth baritone and making the tea.

[edit] Middle Career (Romantic Period)

It was while playing with Basie's band that Kenny got his break. He was discovered by Miles Davis, who asked him to join his quintuplet. G was criticised at first for his innovative approach and for having the devil's curly hair, but was soon accepted as one of the most important jazz musicians of the time along with Chris Botti, Kermit the Frog, and Maddox.

[edit] Early Late Career (Blue Period)

This era saw G experimenting with longer solos with more space for nipping off to the bar. He became noted for his astounding range of a little bit less than one octave and ability to play more notes by growing more fingers and moving these fingers faster. This was dubbed by critic Ira Gitler to be 'shits of sound.' It must also be noted that when G discovered the phrase he was incredibly pleased saying, "I couldn't think of better words myself."

[edit] Late Late Career (Rose Period)

The breakthrough came when Kenny G realised the potentially lucrative market among white middle-class Americans for his distinctive brand of avant-garde jazz. Elements of his music at this point included exciting solos on as many as two chords and a freeing of musical structures to include 'improvisation' as it became known. Kenny G has created impressive legacy of recorded work and compositions including Anthropology, Ornithology, Etymology, Hagiography and Smells Like Teen Spirit. He has influenced many saxophonists too insignificant to mention, including Charles Parka and John Coaltrane and of course Miles Davis.

[edit] Discography

• Kenny G (1983)
• G Force (1985)
• G String (1988)
• G Unit (1990)
• G Your Hair Smells Terrific (1997)

WARNING: The above albums are Schedule III controlled substances in the United States of America and may not be possessed without a doctor's prescription. May Will cause marked drowsiness. 83% less effective than Barry White albums for purposes of bow-chicka-wow-wow. The following Kenny G album is available over the counter:

• G Olde Curiousitie Shoppe (2000)