Kilgore Trout
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Kilgore Trout (1908-2004) is an American Science Fiction author. During his astonishingly interesting career, Trout rose from being an author of fluff articles in hardcore porno magainzes to win a Nobel Prize in literature.
[edit] Childhood and Early Adolescence
According to interviews with Trout, he was born in the county hospital in Gary, Indiana, in 1908, but his birth records were lost when an escaped inmate set fire to the record keeping department, located on the floor directly below the sanitarium. His parents, Gennavive and Albert Trout, while watching flicker shows of matadores in Spain, chose the given name of their son after a night of heavy drinking and raucus couples swinging a month after his birth.
At the age of three, Kilgore accidentally set fire to his parents three story, Victorian house in a particularly well-to-do neighborhood outside of Gary. Unfortunately, their insurance company was in the processes of hoarding assets like waiters hoarded gold flatware on the sinking Titanic as Le Petite Depression of 1912 swept across America. It was during this time of relocation that Kilgore, as reported in a 1944 interview, found Jesus and became a Jedi padawan.
The Trout family soon moved to a newly constructed high-effeciency apartment complex in another one of the neighborhoods surrounding Gary. Nothing eventful at all happened to the Trouts while they lived there.
During primary schooling, Kilgore made average marks in all of his classes, making all S's, except science, which he earned S+'s in. This may or may not have been positively related to Trout's science teacher being a sex offender.
Trout's teenage years were full of hardships and turmoil. On his first day of Eighth grade, Trout was mugged by inner city hoodlams and was forced to gouge one boy's eye out. Being framed by the remaining ruffians, Trout was locked up for a week pending investigation. On the third day of that week, Trout's parent's Ford Reliant burst into flames due to a manufactuerer's defect in the gas tank. Kilgore was obviously shattered. At the end of his week in prison, he was put into the custody of his elderly aunt.
While in jail, Kilgore was inspired to write his first piece of fiction, by Jack Karouac, then going by the name of Superman Africa, a man jailed in the same cell for possession of illegal narcotics. By the time Trout's aunt had arrived to receive the juvenile from lock-up, he had pinned his first short: "Gilgongo!"
[edit] Early Adulthood
Trout's interum years between dropping out of high school and his pre-pubescent arrest are fuzzily recorded, at best. Kilgore was reported to be in Washington state; Baton Rouge, Louisiana; and Geneva, Switzerland each during the first week of Intensity in 1927. It appears that at some point Kilgore managed to find the writers circle hidden deep in the corn jungle (Iowa). It also appears that he went back in time and rewrote the bible to remove the satire and irony as well as anything else vaguely humorous.
