Killer Sheep

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(Murderus Sheepus) Anyone who has travelled to a petting zoo or the infamous town of Bethel, Vermont knows about the dangerous and deadly, killer sheep. On the outside, they look like a cute and cuddly, fluffy cloud with a tail, but on the inside of that soft wool lives a cold blooded killer. They learn their nasty ways from the behavior of black dogs and they are easily provoked by light-blue underwear.

Contents 1 The First Killer Sheep 2 What Happened... 3 The History Teacher's Last Hurrah 4 Mary Who Had a Little Lamb 5 Little Bo Peep, Killing Her Sheep 6 Other Killer Sheep

[edit] The First Killer Sheep

The first killer sheep was a nice little lamb that lived on a dairy farm in Bethel, VT. This sheep was sold to an eccentric history teacher. The lamb was stressed out by the teacher's strange practices and her refusal to go grocery shopping. Also, the lamb's bottle was ripped away from her by this awful lady who told the lamb to shut up anytime it cried in hunger. She was also forced at gun-point to visit page with no links.

[edit] What Happened...

One day, the history teacher decided that she was going to go to South America and she was going to use the lamb as her secret weapon. The lamb decided that if it could learn how to kill South Americans, it could one day kill the dreaded history teacher that it had come to hate. After killing 14 orangutans in South America, the sheep was ready.

[edit] The History Teacher's Last Hurrah

During a second period European History class, the sheep realized that it was time to kill the teacher. During a discussion about the Holy Grail the sheep jumped through the window and started chewing the teacher's arm off. The students tried to stop the lamb but to no avail. All of the students in that class were killed. This was only the first of the many murders committed by the lamb.

[edit] Mary Who Had a Little Lamb

Following the vengeful murder of the cruel history teacher, the sheep moved on to fight against other sheep injustices. The first logical target was Mary who had a little lamb along with a little stuffing and gravy. The sheep, who was calling herself Nia, went to the school where Mary learned her sheep torture techniques. Nia was disgusted to see Mary dragging the sheep behind her with a ring of barbed wire as a collar. Nia waited for the right time, she could already taste her revenge. Once the little lamb made the children laugh and play cruel sheep torture games, Nia struck. She started by snapping all of the little children's necks and then she tied up Mary. She started the torture of Mary by slowly licking her face and then biting off her nose, much like the way Hannibal Lecter bit people, except of course, Hannibal ate people and he was a person, but Nia was a sheep, looking for revenge. The torture continued like this until Mary only had a torso left. Then, Nia set fire to the school and left. This was not Nia and the little lamb's last kill. After the murder of Mary, the two sheep went to the the bloodiest sheep death camp in existence, Shear-World, and plotted the murder of Little Bo Peep.

[edit] Little Bo Peep, Killing Her Sheep

After having killing two oppresors of sheep, Nia and Lamb X (which is what the little lamb was calling himself) went and started to plot the murder of the worst sheep torturer of all time, Little Bo Peep.The lambs were often torutred with exotic instruments from Euthanasia. The two sheep started by calling secret meetings at night with the sheep who lived in the Shearing Camp. The two sheep learned that Bo Peep forced the lambs to follow her out into the woods. Then she would leave and force them to find their way home. If the lambs weren't wagging their tails when they returned, they were beat with Bo Peep's whipping cane. After three weeks of plotting and planning, the Sheep Army struck. Lamb X and his team, Fluffy Squadron, snapped the necks of guards with super high kicks. Nia and Team Cuddles went straight to Bo Peep. They cut all of her hair off and fed it to her. Then, they ate her arms off. This is now the calling card of killer sheep worldwide. After eating her arms off, they threw her into a giant vat of itchy wool, not the nice cuddly stuff you get at Christmas. After the torture of Bo Peep. Lamb X, Nia, and the rest of the Sheep Army rested easy for a while. Now, the Nia lives in Bethel, VT again and she terrorizes the defenseless townsfolk.

[edit] Other Killer Sheep

Many other killer sheep have disgraced the Earth with their nasty presence. One of the most famous killer sheep was an apprentice under the Killer White Rabbit that appeared in the historically accurate film, Monty Python and the Holy Grail. This sheep was tamed by King Arthur and Sir Vladimir to attack the French and eat their arms off. However, the sheep went totally, insanely, nuts and ate the English and the French's arms off. But, to climax, are the African Killer Sheep, the most dangerous of the lot. They have emmigrated from the mountain of Killersheepmonjaro and have settled in the murderous plains of the Yorkshire Dales. They have been known to kill Americans (the meat) and blame it on unsuspecting communists for no known reason at all.