King Roof Ba Goof

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“King Roof Ba Good was something like a mystery. But, then again, I know squat.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Yogo Hugo I

King Roof Ba Goof

Order:	1st King of the Holy Roman Empire
Term of office:	1339-1367
Predecessor:	No One
Successor:	No One
Date of Birth:	1241
Date of Death:	1339
Political Party:	Royalist
Profession:	King

King Roof Ba Goof was the First and last King of the Holy Roman Empire. He was born Fredrich Von Djatal of Prussia in June 12, 1241. His childhood was a relatively good one as the 1240's were relatively boring. When he was 9, he won the local spelling bee by spelling the word "Ham" right, then he was stripped of the title, because it turns out that the dictator was having a stroke, and the real word was "pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis", which sounds nothing like "ham", but being only 9, Fredrich didn't care. When Fredrich turned 20, his father gave him his first precious metal, a silver bullet in the shin (his father thought he was a werewolf).

His life when he was 20-40 are very obscure, because he is thought to be dead. He then comes back into history at the age of 50, when reports of him shooting a dead mouse with a blow gun and then eating it raw are seen in many newspapers of the time. He then runs and wins mayorship of the town of Munich, Bavaria. During his reign, he raised a militia and stormed the country side, leaving destruction, chaos, and cow dung in his wake. In 1296, he reached Berlin, Prussia and sacked it. He ran into the Government building and stole the most expensive item there, a golden sword.

When he got out of the building he was ambushed by the Mayor of Berlin, Shananananannananah Mullorgenschrist. Fredrich thrusted his new golden sword into Shanah's (The nickname of Shananananannananah) chest. Little did he know, but Shanah had a Azure Breast Plate of the Snake +2/+2. The sword bent because gold is the worst type of metal to be made into a sword. Fredrich ran away. Again, his life gets obscured because they found a man who looked just like him and burned him at the stake, making the public think he was dead.

At the age of 98, he becomes King of the Holy Roman Empire during the Time of the Happy Dance, for his heroic victory against the Prussians (which was heavily revised, so that Fredrich killed 80 people, instead of the real number, none.) and changes his name to Roof Ba Goof, because he thought it made him sound regal, but in reality, it just makes him sound like an idiot. The then dies the next day of old age. His funeral was not attended by many, because they were too busy dancing in the streets (remember, this is in the Time of the Happy Dance era, that, and everyone really didn't like him...). He left a legend that no man, woman, or child would want to recreate. But love him or not, he existed.