Kingdom of Antarctica
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“Isn't it kinda cold?”
~ George W. Bush on the KA
“It's freezing there! And there's penguins!”
~ Captain Obvious on the KA
“NICE PLACE!!!”
~ Mao Zedong on the KA
“It's ours ! ”
~ Penguins on the KA
“Isn't there an 'e' in Antarctica?”
~ Dan Quayle on the KA
“This be my crib, yo.”
~ Vanilla Ice on Antarctica
The Kingdom of Antarctica, or the KA for short, is the largest and most populous country in Antarctica. It encompasses most of the continent. It is known for its people, who mostly belong to the Penguin ethnic group, and for its wildlife.
Contents |
[edit] Statistics/Country Profile of KA
Official Name: Kingdom of Antarctica
Usually Known As: KA
Population (2007):169
Capital: Feriego (population 32)
Largest City: Muzeferha (population 83)
Other Cities: Flahaiu (17 people), Penguintown (14 people)
Currency: plant Exchage rate: 1 blade of grass=$23.77
Official Language: Penguinumk
GDP: $1,690,000
GDP per capita: $10,000
Literacy Rate: 99% (Lowered from 100% when retarded Penguin mentally incapable of learning how to read immigrated to the KA.)
Chief Exports: ice, various minerals
Ethnic groups: Penguin 100%
Religious Affiliation Penguinism:99% Communism -1%
Head of State: King Penguino VII reigned 2007-
[edit] Geography
As you probably know, Antarctica is the southernmost land on Earth. In the KA, "northy" is an offensive term for a foreigner.
The KA includes most of the Antarctic continent. Notable areas that are not part of the KA include all land within 750 kilometers of the South Pole and Victoria Land. Also not part of the KA are the various foreign research stations.
All of the KA's population (except 2 people) live near a 120-kilometer stretch of coastline located due south of Madagascar. The four "cities" (none of them exceed 100 in population) are linked by a railroad known by Antarcticans as The Railroad. Airplane service also exists, flights normally running between Muzeferha andChristchurch, New Zealand. Muzeferha also features a port.
Because of the thin ozone layer over Antarctica and what is sometimes even an ozone hole, the KA has the highest skin cancer rates of any country in the world. Because of this, in 2005 the KA government sued various air conditioner and refrigerator companies. They won lawsuits, pouring money into the KA's economy
[edit] Climate
Actually, it does get above freezing one month of the year, during the 24-hour sunlight. Temperatures this time of year can reach a downright mild 1 degree Celsius (34 degrees Fahrenheit). Emergency homeland insulating is unfurled when this happens.
However, winters are very long, dark, and cold. A local motto is "If you don't like winter, move out." Due to many people obeying this suggestion, the population has decreased a lot recently. Suprisingly, inside the heart of a true citizen, it gets quite warm, into the upper 90's.
[edit] History
By A.D. 1032 a kingdom had been well-established in the KA.
For centuries a trade existed between the Penguin and the Australian Aborigines, who taught the Penguin how to play the didgeridoo.
In time a civilization developed here.
Confined to their cold land, the Penguin invented the greenhouse for agricultural purposes in the 12th century.
Among the notable leaders of the KA were King Penguino I and King Jesus IIIVI. In 1380, the KA Mint for making money was built. It was and remains a greenhouse.
By 1900 there was increasing contact with stupid whites who were stupid enough to try to get to the South Pole. The Penguin knew from centuries of experience that going to the South Pole was attempting suicide. They warned the Europeans of this, but they were too stupid to listen. To get white idiot Robert Scott's attention, they went south to capture him before he made it to the South Pole. Contrary to popular belief, Scott did not die of the cold. After having been captured by the Penguin, Scott actually blended in with the KA society, lived for another 30 years, and died of cancer in 1940. He even married a Penguin, and their children are alive today. They live in Flahaiu, and their names are Talika Scott and Reyo Scott. They are both in their eighties.
According to KA residents, everything is backwards in the Northern Hemisphere. Since Soviet Russia is very far north, this probably has something to do with the history of the Russian reversal. (In Soviet Russia, article reads YOU!!)
[edit] Culture
The penguin people make the overwhelming majority. They speak penguin, the official language, which has its own alphabet. In addition to Muslim and Christian religious observances, national holidays include Kingdom Day, Snowman Day, and a week-long festival known as Luukkia, during the period of 24-hour daylight, as well as another festival called Darkua, during the 24-hour darkness.
The four towns of the KA each include a small mosque, a small church, a few stores, a town hall, a school, and a train station. The capital, Feriego, includes a McDonald's, and Muzeferha has the only hospital.
The national cuisine of the KA includes Various fish and vegetables (vegetables thanks to greenhouse agriculture). Far away in Soviet Russia, however, penguin eats YOU!!
[edit] Government and Politics
The KA is an absolute monarchy, the current monarch being King Penguino IIV. He has reigned since 2007 and is old. The KA has a royal tradition of friendliness which has kept the kingdom in remarkable stability. The current dynasty has reigned for 1 year and counting.
The KA is currently in a state of hostility with the Kingdom of Talossa, who has recently claimed a vast region in Antarctica known as Pengopats that is rightfully the KA's land. After all, it has 2 citizens living there! This issue should be solved by 2011, hopefully the UN will intervene.
It is currently allies with Atlantis, OZ, Wonderland, Legoland, and Outer Space in their fight for peace and democracy.
[edit] Economy
The KA is the world leader in exporting ice. Yes, the ice in a beverage near you probably comes from the KA.
Also, several minerals, such as gold, calcium, aluminum, and silver are mined in the KA. Tourism is also an increasingly important industry. Tourists love to see the ice and snow, and the penguins too. Most tourists stay at the Muzeferha Inn. Every year, tourists outnumber the population.
An important transportation facility is the 123-kilometer long The Railroad in the populated part of the country. There is 1 train that runs back and forth from end to end along this railroad.
[edit] Conclusion
Unlike most subjects of Uncyclopedia articles, there is no connection between the Kingdom of Antarctica and him. There is no quote from him because he doesn't have anything to say about the KA. Quite possibly, he doesn't know about the KA.
With a population of 169, the Kingdom of Antarctica is a great and exceptional country. It is the leading exporter of ice and the Penguin Meat Capital of the World. It is also the home of the World's Oldest King. The KA is a very friendly country in international politics. Its army is very great and powerful! It has 2 soldiers! Its UN representative, Srotuso Neskza, is a great man. Just one thing you must remember when travelling to the KA: Never say "please" while you're there, for it is an extremely rude curse word in the Penguin language.
