Knight Rider
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“Remember when I audtioned to be David Hasselhoff's car?”
~ Peter Griffin on Knight Rider
Ein Mann!!
Historically, the Germans looked up to Knight Rider as the role model for a heroic and brave super soldier from the 80's. His dry wit and unisexual appeal made him a man amongst mice. He has been credited with uniting the German provinces into a unified Germania, though recent research disputes this.
Knight Rider first rose to fame as an actor, playing the role of Michael Knight, the fifth person in the science fiction TV-show The A-Team.
His drive to unity, as described by his plan, which he called With Blood and Leather. The plan was a pre-emptive strike, guided by a history book from the future. In the end , Knight Rider was able to stop Lt. Klinger from stealing the heritage of Germania.
The complete and utter victory that he had against Otto Von Bismark marked the end of The Second World War 2. Thus, he became the creator of Germania.
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[edit] Modern Day Knight Rider
Today, Knight Rider continues to protect freedom and beaches with his lovable and monotonic talking car KITT the turbo boosting Pontiac Trans Am. He fights in the deserts of Australia, defending the roads from gasoline bandits, aero-gyro thieves, and other unsavoury Highway Bandits. He has become such an influential peace keeper, that Australia bestowed upon him the Order of the Road Warrior, the highest honour bestowed to a German. Also Michael Knight's hairstyle is now involved in a Pay Per View event where it will try to out act William Shatner's genetically modified wig and the guest referee will be the worlds richest combover, the only thing that will be left after a nuclear war, and probably has caused more damage to the ozone layer than China and the US combined, none other than Donald Trump's gravity defying hairdo (going where no hair has gone before). Please note that this will contain scenes that some viewers may find disturbing. Very disturbing.
[edit] The Future of Knight Rider
There will always be a future for Knight Rider, as there will always be generations of Germans to look up to him. Knight Rider has passed on the duty of protecting cars from the destructive forces of potholes to a new breed of Knights of Rides, known as Team Knight Rider. Unfortunately KITT was not capable of reaching the minimum speed limit on German Autobahn. KITT has now retired from fame after a rumored sex scandel with Herbie the love bug.
These young, hip , and unemployed drivers use a variety of uncool vehicles to mete out justice to Los Banditos De Asphalt. Using SUV's, Aerodynamic street bikes, German military panzers and poorly manufactured American street racers, they deliver justice to where it is needed, somewhere close to Route 66.
[edit] Media Empire
Knight Rider also owns a legion of newspapers in the United States. However, these newspapers produce entirely lies. When other media accused them of being venal, they attempted to bribe them to keep it quiet, but now we know; and knowing is half the battle.
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