Korea
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“Who do I look like, Emperor George Dubya Bush?”
~ Oscar Wild on Choosing a Korea
“You want a piece of meat boy?”
~ Terran Marine on Koreans
“I'm so boring!”
Korea is a country that was divided into two from 1948.
Choose your Korea!!
Don't worry, we won't think any less of you for choosing any paticular Korea!!
- Please note that any and all persons who choose North Korea are immediately registered in with CIA database on suspected terrorists or terrorist sympathizers A.K.A liberals, and those in the database will be incarcerated in the event the United States Of America is put into a state of marshall law, which we (the CIA) is very sure that has doesn't even have a chance in hell of happening, and shouldn't even be mentioned because of the mere impossiblity.
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[edit] Korea: WTF is Korea?!
Korea is a country that was divided into two by the fat americans, and communist russians. The name, Korea, comes from the Chinese myth involving naggars running out of legowhich is a total lie from fuckin' China. This historical event was a tragic tale in which lego was no longer produced, a result of the United States of America's War on Terror, which aimed to secure the world's remaining oil supplies from the "enemy".
The Lego tradition, currently restored by the recent production and sale of oil (a result of the stabilizing of Iraq in which American oil companies successfully exported oil, tax-free and without any red tape), is carried on in Korean architecture, most notably mass residential structures. This most successfully explains why all apartment buildings in Korea look alike, and in fact are exactly the same.
[edit] History
- 200,000 BC: Kimchi perfects the human racial group, the Korean.
- 208 BC: Korea was divided into South and North Korea when George W. Bush forced them to.
- 1 AD: Korea got 4th out of 000417910479165 place(s) in Soccer Tournament.
- 100 AD: Korea is a myth , like unamerica.
- 150 AD: Computers are introduced to Korea
- 1000 AD: Korea has waited 850 years for something to happen: the Crusade for the Holy Land.
- 1991 AD: Korean's overthrow the Kimchi Overlords.
- 1998 AD: Korea releases Starcraft within its borders, and makes it illegal to take Starcraft out of Korea before Koreans master Starcraft.
- 2000 AD: Korea takes 1990 years to think of Mike'n'Ikes and then create some retarded generic Asian version.
- 2007 AD: Korea becomes larger by an inch.
- 2100 AD: Korea machines usher in "The Matrix"
[edit] The Land
Long ago , Korea used to own 78% of the U.S.A. This was canceled during the attack on Fort Sumter. And, again on the attack at Pearl Harbor. They were driven to a peninsula smaller than your foot. With the population of 80,000,000, it was preeeeety cramped. Often, one would fall into the water and get consumed by a shark.
[edit] The Language
The Korean national language is Korean. It has a unique alphabet called hangul, from "han" meaning "unique" and "gul" meaning "alphabet". The hangul alphabet was developed during the rule of King Sejong, who realized that the national treasury was being depleted by having to pay annual franchise fees to China for the use of their symbols. Not to mention hangul is easier to read, since it's phonetic, thus enabling Koreans from every walk of life to deciper their utility bills.
In keeping with the Lego theme, all Korean words are comprised of boxy syllables, each of which has three letters, except the ones that have two or four letters. The letters are arranged in a cluster rather than in a straight line. There is always a male letter (consonant), followed by a female letter (vowel), followed by a baby letter (that can of course be either male or female) except for those consonant-vowel couples who failed to reproduce or those consonant-vowel couples who had twins. This Lego construction of hangul makes transliterating foreign words and brand names interesting as they are broken into little syllable families. "Popeye's," for example, becomes "Pa-pa-eye-sah", "cake" becomes "kay-ee-ka", and "Donald Trump" becomes "way-cheep-wig-guy".
[edit] Money Making
Koreas main money source is ---------------------------------------------------><-
Oprah created a Home Depot building and sent it to Korea by accident while trying to send it to Dick Cheney. Later, she had said, "I guess a building wouldn't fit through an envelope... But, then how did I send one to Korea?" She then made a bird carry it 523 miles(every day). That is why every June 15 they celebrate Oprah Day, in which they ask every country for 500,000$ per people. One person replied,"NO!". The Koreans challenged him to Starcraft on international television, where that person lost miserably and was humialted beyond belief when his base was attacked by an army of Probes.
[edit] Cuisine
The Korean national food is kimchi, which is rotten Chinese cabbage packed in hot pepper paste by bitter old women, well past their prime, forced to live with their children because their drunken husbands left them for cheap mistresses who don't smell like kimchi. The bitter older women force their daughters-in-law to ingest the kimchi three meals a day so that their husbands will in turn leave them, forcing them to move in with their children and thus contribute to the Great Cycle of Kimchi.
The Korean national drink is soju, which is just industrial-grade pruno. It comes in lemon and cherry flavors as well as plain old rotgut flavor for no reason anybody can figure out, since the kimchi has killed all the Koreans' taste buds and they can no longer distinguish between Coke and Pepsi, or even between Tobasco sauce and Nutri-Sweet.
The Korean national soup is dog soup, which is made from a barking dog.
The Korean national seafood is a live monster, which is called 'octapus' in English.
The cuisine of Korea is particularly vital militarily, since it was the combined effects of soju breath and kimchi farts that finally drove the Japanese from the peninsula.
[edit] Evil Monsters
North Korea's Kim Jong-Il
[edit] Predictable End
Korea will be forced to live in Germany(Now dead) in 6891 after the same flood that wiped out Atlantis and Numa Numa occurs in Korea.This is known because signs in the clouds show someone suffocating while using the toilet only if you look up when you are in Korea.
However , it looks more like a TIE Fighter from Star Wars flying sideways.
