Kuditos

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Kuditos are a rare mexican snack food that, because of a psychoactive drug contained in the recipe, make you feel warm inside. People who received love as children often feel no urges to seek out kuditos, but the rest of humanity, including everyone born in the USA, may spend up to 90% of their time thinking about where their next kuditos are coming from. Paradoxically, the more one searches for kuditos, the more elusive they become, making them a very addictive substance.

Kuditos are found in highest quantities among singers and actors. A curious quality of the possession of kuditos is that it causes hot women to want to sleep with you. After this act the said women gain kuditos from their girlfriends.

[edit] Kuditos in the marketing world

Because of the powerful drive in most people to seek out kuditos, companies often attempt to make people feel that buying their products may help people in their search for kuditos. The most prominent examples of this tactic is to be found in the cigarette industry, where people with lots and lots of kuditos are to be seen smoking in adverts.

[edit] Kuditos addiction

People are most susceptible to kuditos addiction at adolescence. At this time of their life many people will do absolutely anything to gain kuditos, such as attempting suicide, taking up smoking, pretending to have the same opinions as their friends, and pretending not to want kuditos by means of rebellious hairstyles and body modification (this gains kuditos from their friends who also pretend they don't want kuditos, because society rejected the poor little twats, or so they say to each other). Kuditos addicts may variously become punks, goths, or emos (in order of severity).

Sometimes kuditos addiction becomes so severe that the sufferer transforms into a politician. Their entire existence becomes a struggle just to get enough kuditos to continue with the job. They become unable to do anything which would cause the public to withhold their kuditos. These people delusively believe that they don't need kuditos and that they actually have some sort of power... poor things.