L Lawliet
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“There is no way L is gay with Light”
~ Captain Sarcastic on L
“There is no way L is gay with Mello, too”
~ Captain Sarcastic on L
“There is no way L is gay with Near, either”
~ Captain Sarcastic on L
“There is no way L is gay with Watari, either! What is wrong with you people?”
~ Captain Sarcastic on L
THEY ARE GAY FOOL
L Lawliet, or R Rawriet as he is known in Japan, is the world's greatest detective. One possible reason for why he is the known as the world's greatest detective is that unlike other detectives he is not a young boy or a man with a stupid hat. This of course proves his superiority.
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[edit] Early Life
Very little about his early life is known other than his extreme dislike of church bells, possibly due with a bad experience he had when he was younger with a priest. A few people have drawn a connection to L with a certain other boy with black hair, blue eyes, 1337 computer skills, and a butler who has killer aim. These people however, have vanished before being able to prove their point, so the less said about that subject the better.
[edit] The entity known as "L"
Every detective in existence, or everyone in that case, is thought to either is L, be an alias of L, be controlled by L, or was once L at one point. Borat is L. Your mom is L. Darth Vader is L. You are L. Maybe this is not entirely true but as quoted by Oscar Wilde it is better to be safe than sorry when dealing with beings smarter than you.
It is a classified secret that L once played Mr. L on The Letter People back in the lemon lollipop days, but he was released from the obligation during the 1990's since the producers decided that "longest laugh" was a better characteristic since it did not promote tooth decay. However, L could not laugh in a way that didn't terrify children so he was let go and replaced with the more wholesome Light Yagami.
[edit] Habits
Where to start? He gets pissed off if you don't talk to him, and tries to tackle the person (Light) L is sort of fond with Tennis, after all you get to wear short shorts and open your legs as wide as you can. L also sits odd, his knees are up and his dick is down into his ass.
[edit] L's Cake
Don't touch his cake. You will be sorry. Not even Chuck Norris has been able to touch L's cake. L got the cake by covertly stealing it from the student council present in Yumimirukusuri and when his love of cake was observed and the only time cake was stolen inspired the events of the game "Portal" He did although steal Misa'a cake out of anger and attempt for her to notice and think him as a cute and funny hunk. And yet his erection was growing so he sat in a position where his penis connected to his ass. Sadly, L got AIDS from cake and died shortly after Rem wrote his name in her note.
[edit] Trivia
- Substances that compose L include 65% sugar, 5% caffeine, 10% more sugar, and 5% more sugar.
- L does, actually, change the world.
- L is often mistaken for an emo, he is in fact just damn tired.
- The concentration of neurotransmitter type "L" is so high in his brain that it literally comes out his nose. It is said that being in the same room as L is like huffing 20 atheists at the same time.
- He is, in fact, justice. Take that Yagami Light!
- L has an evil twin brother named Ł.
- L knows that Light knows that L knows Gods of Death love apples.
- L has a fear of high ceilings, he calls it High ceiling-aphobia.
- L tried to lead Misa Amane inside a toilet stall.
- L spies on Near when hes using the bathroom.
- L pretends that he's fighting of millions of people. He calls it training.
