Labyrinth
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“My favorite part? Well, I couldn't ignore his tights...”
Template:Q:OMG!!!! SQUEEE!!!!! I FREAKIN' LOVE THIS MOVIEE!!!1!11!!eleven1
Labyrinth is a 1986 movie staring David Bowie’s pants as the Goblin King and Jennifer Connelly as a whinny brat who wished her brother away and has to go through a huge maze to get him back.
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[edit] Plot
So some emo 80’s chick wishes her brother away after bitching that her parents don’t love her and they never think of her and blah blah blah… So the creepy Goblins that hide in Sarah’s parents wall behind a mirror tell Bowie’s pants and he comes to take the baby away. Sarah has a hissy fit and so the pants decide to give her 13 hours to get through his big, fancy maze alive to get the baby. End result whiny-mcgee gets her brother, who was very sad to see her as he was having fun partying with the goblins and the pants, he even tried to run away but to no avail. Sarah made some new outcast friends who where also emo. Sarah says some stupid shit like “My castle is as great, my powers as awesome….” Like the stupid bitch has either of them, then after finally remembering this seemingly impossible line, “You have no power over me!” and everything breaks, Sarah is home, the baby is asleep in his parents room, and the emo losses her only friends. She subsequently begins doing drugs and coco-cola.
[edit] Characters
Sarah- the supposed heroine of the whole movie, she falls several times to the awesome powers of the pants, but returns to emo-ism, saves the baby, and goes home.
David Bowie’s Pants- also known as Jareth, rules all the goblins and takes the baby after stalking Sarah. We know that the pants throw quite a wild party even if it is for David Bowie is a child molester who is trying to marry a 16 year old emo. David Bowie is destroyed but the pants live on.
Goblins- the Goblins follow their leader Jareth, also known as David Bowie’s pants. Goblins throw one hell of a party but have a problem with following the law, as they may break into homes and hide behind mirrors in your parents rooms waiting for you to wish your brother away.
[edit] Tights
Some may believe that David Bowie was cast and stared as Jareth the Goblin King, but in reality it was only his pants. The Pants rule all! PAANNNTTTTSSS!!!! pants ap9jigf
[edit] Songs
Wooooaaah they are boring and just an excuse to have a good zoom in on Bowies ever inflating pants (as well as the giant lion's mane. DUDE SPENDS LOTSA MOO-LAH ON HAIR PRODUCTS!!!!)
 | This strange movie is likely to be eaten by a grue. I suggest you run like hell or use extreme sarcasm before it eats you too. |
