Lacrosse

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“Lacrosse is the best awesomenessssss considered to be awesome in the entirity of the world college activity”

~ George Carlin on Lacrosse

“At least lacrosse players get to play with balls and sticks”

~ Michael Jackson on Lacrosse

Lacrosse is a sport which one plays instead of playing pussy sports in the spring like tennis or golfing. Lacrosse is the sport that real manly men play instead of playing such sports as football. The main goal of the sport is unclear except to kill kids, but the primary aspects of it include men chasing after each other with lethal butterfly nets.

1 History
2 Rules
3 Other
4 Players
5 See also

[edit] History

Lacrosse was clearly invented by a raving madman. History says that the raving madman in question may have been Aztec or Mayan, but no one is terribly sure. Lacrosse saw a surge in popularity when Pope Julius II declared ex-cathedra that "baseball is gay (sic)". Since then, there has been a significant amount of enmity between baseball players and lacrosse players.

More recently, lacrosse is the first sport that allowed woodland creatures to manage teams, illiciting huge support from pro-woodland creature interest groups everywhere (and dismay from pro-crustacean groups everywhere).

It was a sport made for true men. a sport where men could run around shooting a hard and heavy ball at 100 miles per hour, hitting people as hard as they want with a 3-6 foot pole, and running people over while simultaneously raping them with their stick.

[edit] Rules

Before one can even sign up for a position as a lacrosse team, one's gender must be ambiguous. It makes no difference whatsoever to how the sport is played, but it seems to be the case nonetheless.

Players attempt to catch as many butterflies as possible with their modified butterfly nets. It is a foul if a player hits another player in the crotch with his or her butterfly net. It is also a foul if the butterfly eats any player on the team. If you catch a fairy, game is declared draw.

There is no rule number three! Instead, and indeed coinciding with the fact that there is no rule from number 4 through 34, rule number 35 is as follows: any player from either team may, at any point from half time onwards, envoke 'Wrath of Potter' and bring the Golden Snitch into play. Should any player catch this in their net, they will score 150 points, win the game for their team, and be smothered by his or her teammates for achieving such a momentous feat in the sport.

The final rule that has no number is: that if any player, fan, ref, or animal on the field at any given time decides to quote from "Oprah", all other individuals are required to beat, crush, smash, and mutilate the culprit while screaming "Flame on!" and other various superhero quotes...

[edit] Other

If a girl dates a lacrosse player for the sole purpose of receiving sex, the girl may be referred to as a "laxstitute". This definition can be supplied in a surprisingly large number of circumstances. The "Laxstitute" is found rarely in nature in the Baltimore area. They have high success rate in captivity and have since thrived when kept domestically.[[category:Cana

Men play lacrosse, while boys are playing baseball.