Lag

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“Rofl lag this is the su”

~ sum noob lol on lag

“x lol”

~ sum noob lol on lag

“Slideshow!!!”

~ You on Your crappy internet

“0M-0M-MG-MG LAG-AG-AG THIS-IS-IS SE-ER-ER-VE-ER SU-SU-CK-CK *user disconnected (lost connection to user)”

~ counter strike player on teh sux server

Lag is a a a a a a a a a a an internet phenomenon-enon-enon-enon-enon scree that really annoys everrrrrybody fro-fro-from This Guy-This Guy-This Guy to That Guy.

It consists of messages-ages sent through the web not arriving quickl-l-l-ly enough.

Contents 1 Signs and 2 an ddd 3 nnd 4 Signs and S-S-Symptoms 5 Currrres 6 SSSpecccccial Casesss 7 How to combat lag 8 Lag as a Weapon

[edit] Signs and

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[edit] an ddd

☺19Vu)(

[edit] nnd

ƒ41╞╫O

[edit] Signs and S-S-Symptoms

1. Repetitive-etitive-etitive-etitively repeating-ing sound.
2. Jjjjjjjjjjerky movements-ts-ts
3. Extreme need to kil-kil-ill-ll oneself

[edit] Currrres

There are no proooooven-ven cures for lag. Rumoured cures inc-include:

• Buy faster ^^#Q^$&#shneeor f-for your comp-omp-omputer
• Fin-ind faster server for th-the thing you were do-do-doing, probably streaming he-he-he-ntai you dirty perrrrrrrrvert.
• If neither wooooorrrrrk, adopt brace positioneeee and rock yourself back annnnd f-f-orth-th.

[edit] SSSpecccccial Casesss

-Minnesnow-ow-owttttans do not la-a-ag, but inssstead "Leg".

[edit] How to combat lag

1. Go to your garage and get a 9 iron and hit your CPU with it as hard as you can.
2. If that didn't work, get a chain saw and saw your CPU in half. Toss gasoline on it and light it.
3. If that as well failed, smash your monitor with a sledge hamer.
4. But if all else fails, fight fire with facism. Preform the Hail Hitler salute and begin cursing angerly at your computer in German.

as you can see it works as theres no lag in this section.If you did everything on the list, your lag should be gone. If not,you suck

[edit] Lag as a Weapon

Every nerd and geek knows of the heroic Warrior, Neo(Our HERO!!! <3), and his battle against the machines. The war took place in a huge computer program similar to CounterStrike(all that pisspoor shooting? Cmon!) called "The Matrix." What was never revealed is how Neo managed to dodge all those bullets, and defeat the whiny bitchface server admins who called themselves "Agents."(they thought it sounded cool or somthing) Most would call it some pretty 1337 hax or somthing, but the truth is almost as sad as it is amazing. NEO HAD A PING OF 814 MOST OF THE TIME!!!!! YES, the truth is out, the network card in the back of his neck was broken or somthing, because he lagged like a 12-year old girl playing WoW on her grand-ma's computer with dialup. Once, he was about to get Headshot like a total nooblet by this Agent with a Desert Eagle ontop of this building, but his latency spiked up to 3600 right when he tripped over his own shoelace, and the Agent missed him like 8 times. He even managed to appear to move fast because nobody knew where he was in a fight. He would just run in circles screaming into the microphone and shooting or meleeing at random.