Lance Vance
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| Black Jesus be down wit' dis sheeeet! Yo Yo Yo! Wut' it iz mutha fucka! Lance Vance iz like da bomb. |
“Hahah! OH SHI-”
~ Ricardo Diaz on Lance Vance
“Nanny taught me how to do the Lawnce Vawnce Dawnce since I was three...”
~ Eloise on Lance Vance
“Lance Vance pwned the You've Got Served guys big time with his dance...”
~ Oscar Wilde on Lance Vance
“...”
~ Claude Speed on Lance Vance
“You're a dumbass low life no good brother. Piece of shit.”
~ Victor Vance on Lance Vance
Lance Tance Vance Chance (formerly known as Ricardo Tubbs) is a pilot, drug dealer, lover, dancer, and used to have herpes. Bance... I mean, Rance... uh, Lance is the leader of the Oance-- "Vance Crime Family", with three members and counting. Despite popular belief, Aance is the acclaimed "80's badass". He wears a white/blue/pink suit every day, even to a funeral.
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[edit] Victor Vance
Vic Vance is his bro. They don't get along too good, one beats the other, one got kicked out of the boy scouts. Vic is part of the "Vance Crime Family". He is one of the two people in the world who can swim, the other being Carl Johnson. Having only one testicle, Vic is an asshole who would later get shot by people in black ninja-like garb because of him being a fucking retard. This is illustrated when he signed up for the air force. What the fuck? What was he training to be, fucking Batman? Good riddance he died, what a fucking loser. Get the fuck out, Victor.
[edit] Inferiority Complex
Much like Liquid Snake from Metal Gear Solid, Fance suffers from an inferiority complex caused by Victor (as already established) beating him. When they were just boys being raised by Aunt Enid, Victor and Pete Vance would call him four years old, even though he had just turned five the year before.
[edit] Lance Vance Dance
Lance is the creator of the "Lance Vance Dance" which is moving your arms to side to side, put one foot and then again, and then strutting back and forward. A less common version exists, performed with two machine guns and a butterfly knife, however, its secret was known only to Lance Vance and Victor Vance and was lost with his death. The infamous "Lance Vance Dance" has spread onto popular culture.
- Little Miss Broadway - Shirley Temple is seen doing the Lance Vance Dance in the courtroom sequence.
- Little Miss Sunshine - When, at the end of the movie, Olive Hoover does the Lance Vance Dance with a machine gun, thus shocking the audience.
- Eloise at The Plaza - Lance Vance and Nanny does the Lance Vance Dance.
- Family Guy - Peter Griffin references it in the phrase "That time I did the Lance Vance Dance when I went on a date with Gary Coleman in Mexico".
- Miami Vice - When Philip Michael Thomas goes in Club Malibu, he does the Lance Vance Dance.
- Death Kill City 2: Death Kill Stories - Lance Vance does the Lance Vance Dance.
- American Idol - Simon says to a competitor "I'd rather watch someone do the Lance Vance Dance."
[edit] Where is he now?
Dead.
