Landing on the Moon
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“I still blame the moon to this date for influencing Laura Secord's cow into biting Sharky, my pet Llama.”
~ Oscar Wilde on moon
Landing on the moon is one of the three unaccomplishments of modern science. It is argued by a few that NASA actually managed to succeed in putting a man on the moon in the 60s during the space race against the Russians. These people are simply liars. Ironically, one of the few accomplishments of modern science has been to disprove its own previous claim that we landed on the moon.
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[edit] Primitive Attempts at Landing on the Moon
In early Native American history they believed that the moon was only a few feet around and that it floated just above the treetop of the tallest tree in the forest. A great Indian Chief named Geronimo actually climbed the tallest tree in the forest in an attempt to get it. He found, however, that he couldn't reach it. Blaming this one himself, Geronimo chose not to climb down the tree out of shame. He died in that same tree three years later.
A second attempt was made during the European Renaissance. Galileo, crazily speculating that the earth was round (or, spherical in shape), said the same was true of the moon. Only parts of his crazy schemes to reach the moon were recovered. He never got to realize his plan because his life was rightly cut short by a court of Christians who convicted him for his heresy.
A third attempt was made by the French who began work on the Eiffel Spaceship. Being French, they were retarded and had only built the skeleton of the spaceship before they realized they had no way of actually sending people into space. They hadn't even considered the fact that human beings would need oxygen, water, and food. Not to mention a supply of cigarettes if they planned on sending their own French citizens. The entire plan was canceled and the Eiffel Spaceship was renamed the Eiffel Tower and erected in Paris, Texas as a French monument, or monument, as they say in France, with a certain amount of exotic nasal discharge.
Rather than being a fourth attempt, NASA chose to just fake a moon landing. They built an impressive-looking model of what they thought a space shuttle should look like and named it the Millennium Falcon. They found some cool old Hollywood astronaut costumes and put them on a couple of guys with PhDs and other such ridiculous things. They had the astronauts march into the space shuttle and launched off into outer space, where they immediately died because the suits didn't actually have oxygen tanks, nor did the space shuttle have a life-support system. NASA then released doctored photos of the alleged moon landing, declaring to the public that their project was a success. The estimated cost of the project is at about $530 billion and 65 cents.
[edit] Proving the Moon Landing False
Scientists proved that the image released by NASA (seen above) was fake when they discovered and revealed that the moon actually looks like this:
It turns out that the photos taken for the NASA propaganda were images of Hollywood sets. Why NASA didn't take the pictures before the faked launching, instead of just drawing in astronauts afterwards, is a long-enduring mystery.
