Leaning Tower of Pizza

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“Mmmmmm.... pizza....”

~ Homer Simpson on The Leaning Tower of Pizza

The Leaning Tower of Pizza is not inclined as it might seem on first view. Actually it's the world under it that is twisted.

The Leaning Tower of Pizza is the only structure in Italy that is currently not demolished to make way for crack houses and apartment blocks. It is made of hundreds of pizzas that are piled up to form a tower. During the centuries, the Tower of Pizza has fallen down and been rebuilt on very many occasions. It is a mystery why a stable perpendicular tower like that of Pizza would ever fall down, but that it happens very often is empirical fact.

One common theory about the instability of the Tower of Pizza is, that the pizzas of this tower gradually turn into pizza fungi, as they get more and more infested with fungus.

Another theory is that the hobos of Italy come to nibble on the tower for begging energy. Over many years the tower becomes lacking in stability due to the missing side that has been eaten.

[edit] Humiliation

Due to the half-assed job that the architect did on it, the tower has been a horrible embarrassment for Italy since day one. To really rub it in, in the days following its completion Michelangelo (the rival of the tower's creator) raised a poll, collected the results, and closed it. The results showed that 110% of voters hated the tower, so it claimed the hard-hitting title 'most rubbishest building ever'. One would have thought they would have knocked or burnt it down, but they didn't. But still, it has been 800 humiliating years and the tower is still the unrivaled holder of this title.

Some mathematicians have claimed that the 110% figure is impossible; but they were all declared heretics and burned at the steak.

[edit] History

The tower was originally built in the 1960's by some fat, stoned Italian man to house his mistress, who was also built. Leonardo built the tower using a method of Pizza Architecture called alternating slice/stack triangulation. He began with slices of sausage and mushroom alternating with Canadian Bacon for the first layer. Subsequent layers included ham and pineapple, pepperoni, green peppers and anchovies.

Most pizza architects agree that Leonardo's problem was that he did not use extra cheese. Extra cheese in the early layers would have caused the subsequent layers of pizza to adhere better, and would have prevented both the inherent instability and the accumulation of moisture that led to the growth of pizza fungus.

But the tower still stands still because of a unique receipt of mozzarella that prevents slipping. The fact is commonly known as mozzarellization and has become since then the most commonly used glue in the world.

This tower has been featured in the movie Deuce Bigalow: European Gigalo.

[edit] Leaning Tower of Pisa

It is not to be confused with the Leaning Tower of Pisa, which is a monumental, phallic sculpture, designed by Nietzsche, located in a park near St. Elizabeth's Hospital, a mental institution, in the suburbs of Washington, D.C.

YUMMY!