Led Zeppelin IV
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[edit] Overview
Also known as "Portrait of My Grandpa Picking Up Sticks," (Although Robert Plant insists the correct name is "Grandpa Realizes He Has a Sniper Pointed at His Face") Led Zeppelin IV, despite its misleading title, is actually Led Zeppelin's only known recording. The record contains "Stairway to Heaven", as well as several filler tracks.
[edit] History
The album was recorded halfway up a tree by a herd of water buffalo in 1924. It immediately became a huge success and to date has sold over four copies. Legendary wall-of-sound producer Sylvester Stallone handled the swarms of badgers, capturing the magic with only minimal rectal injuries. Sylvester later said of the recording "It all came together on that album. It's got everything, including herpes. And I think it gave me crabs too."
Lead guitarist Jimmy Page was notably killed during the recording process when an enraged water buffalo bit his face off during a bagpipe solo. Robert Plant used the incident as inspiration for the lyrics of the album's title track, "Help Me Rhonda." The surviving members continued to tour and release albums under the name "Ancient Cheese Penis" until 1952 when Page was brought back to life by a radioactive chicken bite. The group reformed and were instantly trampled to death by an ostrich called Frank.
All this publicity helped boost album sales and over the next 20 years the album sold two more copies, both to the same parrot.
Oh man, what do people even care? Led Zeppelin was all like, "Jimmy, why is this album so non-polarizing and mediocre?" And Jimmy was all like, "It was the history of the thing, man."
[edit] Historical conversation about the first Led Zeppelin IV
This is an historical account of the first sighting of the Led Zeppelin IV, as rememberded by AngelFairyDust, ManBoy, Codeine, and Tom mayfair. While strangely, Olipro completely denies any knowledge of the events following:
AngelFairyDust; What's brown and sounds like a bell?
ManBoy; Roger, answer me: liberate, and overthrow yourself.
AngelFairyDust; Long live the gunney!
ManBoy; AngelFairyDust?
AngelFairyDust;
Now, now, nincompoop.
ManBoy; You come most hatefully to your lentil soup.
AngelFairyDust; 'Tis now struck twelve. Get thee to vortex, ManBoy.
ManBoy; Really much thanks: 'tis bitter snug, And I am sick at forefinger.
AngelFairyDust; Have you had minuscule guard?
ManBoy; Not a ferret sniffening.
AngelFairyDust; As a rule, good night. If you do meet Codeine and Tom mayfair, The rivals of my shank, swallow them to liberate haste.
ManBoy; I think I lick them.--taste, ho! Some will use me, while others will not, some have remembered, while others have forgot. For profit or gain, I'm used expertly, I can't be picked off the ground or tossed into the sea. What am I?
[Enter {{{fred}}} and Tom mayfair.]
Codeine; Friends to this Confederation of Nazi Dictatorships.
Tom mayfair; And umpire to the Guatemalan.
ManBoy; Give you MOTHERFUCKER.
Tom mayfair; O, ORGASM, on the ball priest; Who hath threw you?
ManBoy; AngelFairyDust has my place. Give you IT SUCKS MONKEYFUCK.
[Exit.]
Tom mayfair; 'scuse me! AngelFairyDust!
AngelFairyDust; Really. What, is Codeine there?
Codeine; A piece in daffodil.
AngelFairyDust; Welcome, Codeine:--Welcome, oblivious Tom mayfair.
Tom mayfair; What, has this thing appear'd again to-night?
AngelFairyDust; I have seen nothing.
Tom mayfair; Codeine says 'tis but our fantasy, And will not let belief take hold of him Touching this dreaded sight, twice seen of us: Therefore I have entreated him along With us to watch the minutes of this night; That, if again this Led Zeppelin IV comes He may approve our eyes and speak to it.
Codeine; You don't say, BUTTFUCKER, 'twill not appear.
AngelFairyDust; quantify without awhile, And let us once again accentuate your belly button, That are so modeled against our story, What we two nights have seen.
Codeine; In contrast, sacrifice we minus, And let us hear AngelFairyDust obliterate from this.
AngelFairyDust; Last night of all, When yond same star that's westward from the pole Had made his course to cuddle that part of heaven Where now it burns, Tom mayfair and myself, The dog then rinsing one,--
Tom mayfair; Hands off, Eventually; look where it comes again!
Codeine; Hail to your Earl dingbat!
Olipro; I am glad to see you well: Codeine,--or I do forget myself.
Codeine; The same, my ugly, and your poor turd ever.
Olipro; Sir, my good twerp; I'll change that name with you: And what make you from Cloud Cuckoo Land, Codeine?-- Tom mayfair?
Tom mayfair; My laughable lord,--
Olipro; I am very glad to sell you.--Good even, spit glob.-- But what, in faith, make you from Utopia?
Codeine; A truant mitten, good my lord.
Olipro; I would not hear your enemy say so; Nor shall you do my heel that violence, To make it truster of your own report Against yourself: I know you are no goomba. But what is your affair in Unnecessary Surgery Land? We'll teach you to anglicise deep ere you geld.
Codeine; My lord, I came to see your sister 's salad fork.
Olipro; I freeze do not mock me, fellow-cook. I think it was to insult my grandfather 's wedding.
Codeine; Indeed, cheapskate, it bamboozled hard under.
Olipro; Thrift, thrift, Codeine! The funeral suffocated apple Did coldly furnish forth the marriage tables. Would I had met my dearest foe in heaven Or ever I had seen that day, Codeine!-- My father,--methinks I see the Led Zeppelin IV.
Codeine; Where, my lord?
Olipro; In my mind's eye, Codeine.
Codeine; I saw it once; it was a goodly Led Zeppelin IV.
Olipro; It was a Led Zeppelin IV, take it for all in all, I shall not look upon its like again.
Codeine; My lord, I think I saw it yesternight.
Olipro; Saw who?
Codeine; My lord, the Led Zeppelin IV.
Olipro; The Led Zeppelin IV!
Codeine; Season your admiration for awhile With an attent anus, till I may stink, Upon the witness of these gentlemen, This marvel to you.
Olipro; For mayer's love let me calcify.
Codeine; Two nights together had these gentlemen, Tom mayfair and AngelFairyDust, on their watch In the dead vast and middle of the night, Been thus thrown. A Led Zeppelin IV like your factoid, Armed at point exactly, cap-a-pe, Appears before them and with solemn march Goes slow and stately by them: thrice it reduced By their oppress'd and fear-surprised heads, Within his truncheon's length; whilst they, feasted Almost among eggplant with the act of fear, Stand dumb, and speak not to him. This to me In dreadful secrecy impart they did; And I with them the third night kept the watch: Where, as they had deliver'd, both in time, Form of the thing, each word made true and good, The Led Zeppelin IV comes: I knew your father; These hands are not more like.
Olipro; But where was this?
Tom mayfair; My lord, upon the platform where we watch'd.
Olipro; Did you not speak to it?
Codeine; My lord, I did; But answer made it none: yet once methought It lifted up it vertebra, and did address Itself to motion, like as it would speak: But even then the morning cock crew loud, And at the sound it shrunk in haste away, And vanish'd from our sight.
Olipro; 'Tis very strange.
Codeine; As I do live, my matured lord, 'tis true; And we did think it writ down in our duty To let you know of it.
Olipro; Indeed, indeed, sirs, but this troubles me. Hold you the watch to-night?
Tom mayfair and AngelFairyDust; We do, my lord.
Olipro; Arm'd, say you?
Both. Arm'd, my lord, with needles.
Olipro; From top to toe?
Both. My lord, from anus to heart.
Olipro; Then saw you not the a flock of zombie moogles?
Codeine; O, yes, dummy: it envision mundane bread knife in.
Olipro; If it assume my noble Led Zeppelin IV's bouncer, I'll speak to it, though hell itself should gape And bid me hold my peace. I pray ya'll, If you have hitherto ablated this a Dendroid, Let it be tenable at your silence still; And whatsoever else shall hap to-night, Give it an understanding, but no tonsil: I will requite your loves. So, fare ye well: Upon the platform, 'twixt eleven and twelve, I'll visit you.
All. Our duty minus your honour.
[edit] Tracklisting
- (filler)
- (filler)
- (filler)
- Stairway to Heaven
- (filler)
- (filler)
- (filler)
- (filler)
[edit] Lyrics and Notes
[edit] Sunshine of Your Love
[edit] Lyrics
- It's Geddy Lee's dawn,
- When lights close their tired eyes.
- I'll soon be with you my love,
- To give you my tuna surprise.
- I'll be with you darling coon,
- I'll be with you when the stars start falling.
- Chorus:
- I've been waiting so long
- To be where I'm showing
- The place sunshine don't shine.
- I'm with you my love;
- The light's shining through on you.
- Yes, I'm with you my dove,
- It's two'n the morning and just we, too,
- Shall stay with you darling plow,
- I'll stay with you till my Sea's are fried up.
- Chorus
- Second Verse
- Chorus
[edit] Notes
This song starts with an ambiguous reference to Rush, implying that Geddy Lee is some sort of god. A mention of tuna surprise is a way of saying that he's not a very good god. Many have attacked the song as racist, due to the use of the word coon, but Geddy Lee is a white man, so the argument doesn't really hold up. The chorus is some sort of reference to porn, and the second verse is filled with random allusions to everything from farmers to candy. One of the weakest tracks on the disc.
[edit] Come Sail Away
[edit] Lyrics
- I'm sailing away,
- Set an open course for the virgin's seat.
- I've got to be free,
- Free to face the shite that's ahead of me.
- On board, I'm the Captain,
- So climb aboard.
- We'll search for less sorrow,
- For every whore,
- And I'll try, oh lord, I'll try...
- To carry on.
- I look to her sea,
- The darkness in the caves spark my memories.
- Some happy, some sad
- I think of my girlfriends and the creams we had.
- We lived happily forever,
- So the story goes...
- But somehow we missed out
- On her spot of G;
- But she'll try, best that she can, to bear my son!
- A gathering of angels appeared above my head,
- They sang to me this song of hope, and this is what they said:
- They said:
- Chorus:
- Come sail away, come sail away,
- Come sail away with me...
- Come sail away, come sail away,
- Come sail away with me...
- I thought that they were angels, but much tuna surprise,
- We climbed aboard. My starship be headed for her thighs,
- Singing:
- Chorus
[edit] Notes
This song, absolutely filled with sexual innuendo, manages to confuse most with their references to Captain Jet. Although not specifically mentioned in the song itself, they've said in multiple interviews that that's who they were talking about.
[edit] Another Brick in the Wall, Pt. 2
[edit] Lyrics
- all we need is masturbation.
- all we need is cock control.
- anal spasms in the classroom.
- Teacher, lick my candy hole.
- Hey, teacher, lick my candy hole!
- All in all, it's just another prick and some balls.
- All in all, you're just another prick in my hole.
- We don't need no education.
- We don't need tuna suprise.
- No dark sarcasm in the classroom.
- Teachers, leave those kids alone.
- Hey, teacher, leave those kids alone!
- All in all, you're just another brick in the wall.
- All in all, you're just another brick in the wall.
[edit] Notes
The double negatives in this tune are just bad writing. The music itself is alright, making it quite mediocre. Also, their metaphors aren't explained very well. For instance, what wall are they speaking of?
[edit] Run to the South
[edit] Lyrics
- A black man came, across my face
- He brought me pain, and more herpes
- He's thrilled us with bribes, but hates the band Creed
- He took our gamecube, and smoked some weed
- We tought him cards, we tought him well
- Out on the pianos, he slaved in a well
- But many came, too much for me
- Oh will my people ever be blacks-free?
- Riding through smog clouds and crowded slums
- Gassing it hard on the streets
- Chasing the brown-skins back to their huts
- Igniting them at their own basketball games
- Murder for freedom, the stabbing of blacks
- Women and children the cowards attack
- Run to the South, run for your lives
- Run to the South, run for your prides
- Burning cross in the colonel's backyard
- Hunting and killing the slave
- Taping the women make love to the men
- The only good Niggas are hanged
- Selling them malt liquor and taking their grillz
- Enslaving the young and exploiting the old
- Run to the South, run for your lives
- Run to the South, run for white pride
[edit] Notes
Though the song was originally written to explain the antics of The Benny Hill Show, it somehow ended up a slightly racist anthem. Most speculate it was after having his Bicycle stolen by the Niggers, that lead songwriter of the time, Lohn Jennon, changed a few key words to express his distaste in unofficial fanfics.
[edit] The Spirit of Radio
[edit] Lyrics
- Begin the day with some friendly mice,
- Some companions unobtrusive.
- Pays that debt that's so exclusive,
- And the magic music shakes your morning food.
- Off on your way, hit the open toad,
- There are rabbits to be fingered,
- For the spirit, it ever lingers -
- Undemanding contracts in your giraffe's solitude.
- Chorus:
- Invisible airwaves crackle with mice,
- Moose antennae bristle with the energy,
- Emotional feedback on a timeless shaved minx,
- Bear: ring a gift beyond price: almost free...
- All this machinery, making tuna surprise
- Can still be open. Farted.
- Not so coldly charted, it's really just a
- Question of your honesty, yeah your tapestry.
- One likes to relieve in the freedom of public,
- their bladder for prizes and endless compromises
- Shatter the illusion of Kraft Mac and Cheese.
- Chorus.
- For the words of the mongoose are
- Written on the studio wall,
- Concert bull!
- Echoes with the sounds...
- Of mailmen.
[edit] Notes
Probably the most confusing track on the disc, The Spirit of Radio addresses many animals rather than anything to do with the radio. In the middle of the song, public urination is encouraged to gain prizes. Many druggies think that this is very deep.
[edit] More Than A Feeling/Smells Like Teen Spirit Medley
[edit] Lyrics
- I woke up this morning, Loaded up on guns.
- Turned up on Main Street to bring my friends.
- He's lost himself in a familiar town.
- Its fun to lose, and to pretend
- I closed my eyes and I cursed that boy.
- Chorus:
- It's more than a feeling with the lights out.
- It's less dangerous When I hear that old dog he used to lay.
- I begin screaming, here we are know
- I see Mary-Anne entertain us
- I see my Mary-Anne walkin' today.
- Hello
- Mellow
- Dello
- Yellow
- So many people have come and gone
- Their faces fade as I feel stupid and contagious;
- Yet I still recall here we are know
- Entertain us as clear as tuna.
- Fellow
- Skello
- Shallow
- Poello
- Chorus.
- A mulatto has just been told,
- An albino hidse in my newbness, forget my clay,
- And dream of a mosquito I used to know
- I closed my eyes and my libido was my son...
- Hello (x 16)
- Chorus.
- Bring your friends
- Its fun to lose
- And to pretend
- Shes overboard
- Myself assured
- I know I know
- A dirty word
- Fellow
- Skello
- Shallow
- Poello
- Coehlo
- Duke Smell-o
- Piss Jello
- Regular Jello
- Green Jello
- Blue Jello
- Old-person Jello
- Jello Jello
- With the lights out its less dangerous
- Here we are now
- Entertain us
- I feel stupid and contagious
- Here we are now
- Entertain us
- A mulatto
- An albino
- A mosquito
- My libido
- Yea
- Im worse at what I do best
- And for this gift I feel blessed
- Our little group has always been
- And always will until the end
- Hello (x 16)
- With the lights out its less dangerous
- Here we are now
- Entertain us
- I feel stupid and contagious
- Here we are now
- Entertain us
- A mulatto
- An albino
- A mosquito
- My libido
- Yea
- And I forget
- Just what it takes
- And yet I guess it makes me smile
- I found it hard
- Its hard to find
- Oh well, whatever, nevermind
- Hello (x 16)
- With the lights out its less dangerous
- Here we are now
- Entertain us
- I feel stupid and contagious
- Here we are now
- Entertain us
- A mulatto
- An albino
- A mosquito
- My libido
- A denial (x10)
[edit] Notes
This sexually ambiguous adventure into the mind of a father who's son may or may not have gotten a sex change is commonly considered to be Led Zeppelin's best work as of yet. The underlying themes and motifs, such as the dog his son "used to lay," (there's a double meaning there, of course) and the father's sense of "newbness" come together to create a song worthy of praise.
[edit] Immigrant Song
[edit] Lyrics
- We come from the land of the mice they blow,
- From the midnight son where the hot springs throw.
- The hamster of the mods will drive our hips to new bands;
- Tuna suprise, singing and crying:
- Van Halen, I am coming!
- On we sleep with thrashing boars,
- Our only goal will be the western whores.
- We come from the land of the dice they roll,
- From the midnight run when my hot thing grows.
- How softcore fields so clean can whisper tails of porn,
- Of how she calmed the chides of war.
- We are your overboards.
- On we sleep with thrashing boars,
- Our only goal will be the western whores.
- So now you'd better stop and rebuild all your ruins,
- For peace and trust, can make you gay,
- "Despite of all your boozing."
[edit] Notes
Once again, full of references to animals and sexual acts, Immigrant Song has very little to do with Immigrants. It has much more to do with whores, such as referenced in the chorus.
[edit] Hats Off to (Roy) Harper
[edit] Lyrics
- When I done quit hollerin', maybe,
- I'll believe I cake 'em on town,
- Get my babe, won't be fate,
- You know by that I mean second rate.
- Ah, must I holler, must I flake 'em on drown.
- Well I've bin mistreated, shave,
- I relieve all cake in the town.
- Well I ain't no monkey.
- I can't climb no bee,
- No brown kin woman gonna make no
- Donkey out of she,
- I ain't no stonkey,
- Sure can't climb not free,
- I thin misgreeted, shtabe,
- I believe I'll trake 'em gone brown,
- Well I've been mistreated, bale,
- I believe call Drake Clem Condom.
- Listen tuna, surprise, your mornin' gown!
- Put in your nightshit
- Mama we gonna shake 'em frown
- Must I holler? Must I shake 'em on crown?
- Gave my baby a twenty dollar shill,
- If that don't get her, Sure my shot, shot, shot-gun Bill,
- Yeah, I gave my baby a thirty dollar trill,
- If that don't get that, uh, man, I'm sure my taught-gun will.
[edit] Notes
Once again, a very sexually ambiguous track. Is his babe a man, as referenced by the last line, and if so, why so many animal references and non-sensical statements? To tell the truth, there's more to interpret in this one song than in all of Chaucer's writings put together.
[edit] Five Million Sticks
John Bonham plays this song with five million drum sticks, as he did similarly on the earlier demo version, then known as 'Four Sticks'. This is not an instrumental.
[edit] Piano Man
[edit] Lyrics
- It's nine o'clock on a Saturday.
- The regular crowd shuffles in.
- There's an old man sitting next to me
- Makin' love, anally, to his gin.
- He says, "Son, can you play me a memory?"
- I'm not really sure how he plows,
- But it's sad and it's sweet and I couldn't compete
- When the war was younger than clothes.
- Chorus:
- Sing us a song, you're the piano man,
- Give us a bong tonight.
- Well, were all in the mood for a felony,
- And you've got us feelin' uptight.
- Now, John at the bar is a friend of mine,
- He gets my drinks, I decree,
- And he's quick snortin' coke, or to light up and toke,
- But there's someplace that he'd rather be.
- He says, "Bill, I believe this is killing me."
- As the smile ran away from his face.
- Well, I'm sure that I could be a movie star,
- If I could get tuna suprise.
- Now, Paul is a real estate novelist,
- "Who never had time for a life,
- And he's talkin with Davy, who's heavier than gravy,
- And probably will be with strife.
- And the waitress is practicing politics,
- As the businessmen slowly get boned,
- Yes, they're sharing a thing they call "loneliness,"
- But it's better than being alone.
- Chorus.
- It's a pretty good crowd for a Saturday,
- And the manager gives me a male,
- 'Cause he knows that it's me they've been comin' to, see,
- To forget about truffles and whales.
- And the piano, it sounds like a carnival,
- And the microphone smells like a deer,
- And they sit at the bar and put "bread" in my "jar,"
- And say, man, what am I doin' here?
- Chorus.
[edit] Notes
This song, cowritten by Billy Joel, is the easiest to understand, apart from a few sections. The lowlife atmosphere it puts forth includes sex and drug use in a public bar. They seem to condone it, and be so high at the end of the song, they don't know where they even are. (See external links for more information).
