Legend of Zelda: The Pipe Organ of Space-Time
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
 Warning! You are in danger of being eaten by Lord Jabu-Jabu!This article was written by a zelda freak, which is defined as someone who has drawn their own personal map of Hyrule, placed all of the zelda games in perfect chronological order, and jumped off a roof holding a chicken and was shocked to find himself or herself in the Emergency Room the following morning. |
FYI this game takes place in Hyrule.
Contents |
[edit] What is Hyrule?
Hyrule is Microsoft's version of Nebraska founded by Max
Weinberg..
It is the setting for 4 of the Super Mario games, the home of Oscar Wilde and ruled by Indira Gandhi. It is populated by many a Master Sword.
[edit] Geographical Features
The Landscape of Hyrule seems to change slightly from game to game, but there are a few recurring areas.
(Such as the Spaceship and the Lesbian Rights Parade levels)
While most of it does occur in a post-apocalyptic future, like the famous movie trilogy, it isn't always faithful to the geography of the movies. This is perhaps the reason why most fans of the movies aren't fans of the game, and vise-versa.
[edit] Hyrule's Landscape
Here's a quick guide to all the games set in the wasteland that is Hyrule. It'll briefly cover each of the levels.
[edit] How to Beat
- Horsehead: Use downward thrust on the Horsehead's head.
- The Great Portable Phone: Use a smoke detector.
- Danny Devito: Use upward thrust on Danny's genitals.
- Scott Bao: Use the candle.
- A Walrus: Use the boomerang.
- Muddy Waters: You cannot beat Muddy Waters. Muddy Waters beats YOU. (Try Russian Reversal)
- Tom Cruise: Use Oprah
- Big Poe: Oprah
- Skulltula: Oprah
- Odwala: Oprah
- Fairy Fountain: Oprah
- Deku Scrub: Oprah
- Unicorn Fountain: The Triforce
- Goht: Osama Bin Laden
- Oprah: use Muddy Waters or just stare at her
- Psycho Mantis: Plug your controller into port 2
- Ganon: Use Danny DeVito's guitar, no wait, he doesn't have a guitar! You're screwed!
[edit] Mario Lacrosse
Mario Lacrosse marks the first game to take place in Hyrule. While Hyrule is never mentioned in the game, the game's manual says that it does, in fact, take place in Hyrule.
- Meteor Madness
In the first level of Mario Lacrosse, Link's team must take on the Cock Rockers. It's widely considered the easiest level in the game, as the team's captain has no special moves and the goalie is a coke fiend.
- Ganon's Spaceship
Most players are surprised to see the famous spaceship level so early in the game, but that doesn't stop it from still being the most popular level. Ganon is not actually on the team, but when the team captain uses his special, Ganon leaps into the field and instantly hits a home-run for their team.
- The Awesome Black Hole
The awesome black hole was originally scheduled to be in the game, it was even complete and glitch-free. But it was taken out for mysterious reasons, remains of it's programming are still in the early copies of the game, and can be played with a gameshark, a codebreaker, a Unix-based computer, and some Silly Putty.
- Nazi Germany
This level takes place on a corpse-littered battlefield. The team you compete against is the Nazi army. Obviously, the team leader is Hitler, whose special move is having one testicle. This level is known as the most difficult one in the game due to the effectiveness of the Nazi team's blitzkrieg strategy.
- Canada
This level takes place in Mexico. The ball is replaced with a immigrant in this level, and the goals are replaced by the border. The other team is the Border Patrol, who sometimes almost seem to let you score goals without caring.
- Gradius Reference
This is the game's final level. The brain dies and you win. Then you go next zone.
[edit] Resident Evil 2
In the second game to take place in Hyrule, a deadly virus known as the Commie-Flu breaks out and begins to affect the ordinary townspeople, turning them into flesh-eating Commies. Master Chief is one of the only townsfolk to survive the deadly outbreak, and you control him as he attempts to escape.
Most of the game takes place in the commie-infested alleyways of Hyrule Town. Although, a large portion also takes place in Hyrule Temple, and another in Ganon's Communist Spaceship.
[edit] Final Fantasy DCCCLXXXVIII: There is no "Final" Fantasy
The most plot-heavy game set in Hyrule. You play the spiky-haired hero named Vick who has to stop Richard Nixon's plot to do something bad to the world... Like take it over or blow it up or something. It's been a while since I played it.
The generic big city is just plain called "Hyrule", despite the rest of the state being named Hyrule, too. (Sort of like Singapore).
At one point, Hyrule is destroyed. Then there's this outlandish plot twist involving Vick's history, and then Hyrule is undestroyed and it's a happy ending. However this just leads to Final Fantasy DCCCLXXXXIV.
[edit] Let's Play Katamari
Another entry in the Katamari Damacy Series set in Hyrule...
You roll up stuff.
In Hyrule.
Set to the soothing sounds of The Cure sped up and reversed. (at least i think... It just sounds like they're speaking some kind of foreign language)
It's the most controversial game in the Katamari series thanks to the inclusion of a cheat code that granted the player the ability to pluck citizens off the katamari and take pictures of their genitals. Because of this controversy, a group known as the Bible Thumping Bastards grabbed every copy of the game they could find and burnt them. Only four copies of the game remain. 3 of which are owned by Steve Jobs, the remaining 2 belong to Frank Zappa and a man who has a pea fetish.
[edit] Under Hyrule
Rumour has it Mario is hidden in a hole in Hyrule. Most have no had acess to his lair but 1 boy names found him one day while hunting for the mastersword, mario was found fucking peach in what was described as a "Pimping Star Bed"
[edit] Coming Soon
After Hyrule Town Bank's bankruptcy due to one little cross-dressing green-clothed elf stealing all the Rupees, (and raping the employees) Hurule no longer has any dough to fund any more crappy games. As such, there will be nothing else for you to expect from Hyrule. But don't let me ruin your fun - maybe something will happen anyway, something extraordinary... Nah, just kidding. Fooled you, though!
[edit] Hyrule in the real world
Hyrule is also the name of a city in Minnesota, occupied entirely by pot-smoking college dropouts. Nothing ever happens there, similar to every other city in Minnesota.
[edit] See also
- Mario
- Zelda
- Gradius
- Resident Evil
- Atari 2600
- Nintendo
- Harry Potter
- Radiohead
- Lacrosse
- Katamari Damacy
- Communist Goverments who don't do anything
| Games: |
The Legend of Zelda - The Adventure of Link - Blink-182 is Passé - Link's Arousal - Ocarina of Time - Majora's Mask - Oracle of Seasons and Oracle of Ages - The Wind Waker - Four Swords Adventure - The Midget's Cap - Twilight Princess - Phantom Hourglass |
| Why, God? Why?: | The Wand of Gamelon |
| Characters: | Link - Ganondorf - Princess Zelda - Tingle - Vaati - That Old Man from The Legend Of Zelda - Sheik |
| Somethings: | Hyrule - Link is a Tree - The Legend of Zelda Link theory - Rupees |
