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“I think we might be the greatest people that have ever lived. Ever.”

~ Meriwether Lewis on Lewis and Clark

“Why don't I get top billing?”

~ William Clark on Lewis and Clark

Contents 1 Introduction 2 In America 3 A New Beginning 4 The Corpse Of Discovery 5 The Journey Home 6 Fun Facts

[edit] Introduction

C. S. "Meriwether" Lewis was born a cunt on January 32, 1092 in Dublin, Ireland. He met his mother's sister's daughter's half-brother's Priest's lover's son John Williams when he was just a fetus. For some reason, the two boys hit it off because they were both, at the time, cunts. But they were also infatuated with Hello Kitty^TM. By the time they were 14, they had both dropped out of Cunt School. However, despite their deep relationship with one another and each others cunts, they were broken up and sent to America aka cuntland. and then they went in to the bushes and screwed a dog.

William "Dick" Clark was a secret agent, and a governor of a state that was not yet a state. A virgin, he cruised a low-rider in Kentucky before later hanging out in Missouri night clubs trying to get laid. Before the expedition he served in a para military group and the United States Army in Operation Prairie Storm. From 1822 until his death, he held the position of Superintendent of Marital Affairs.

[edit] In America

Both men were broken up and sent to facilities where they would be injected with a serum that would wipe out their entire memory bank. Once injected, both men were told that they had a different past then they really did. Meriwether was told he grew up in a small town in Virgina and told he was friends with the president (at that time: Thomas Jefferson). John Williams was told that he had an older brother (George), that he grew up in Caroline County, Virgina, and that as a small boy, he aspired to be a cartographer (map maker). The scientists at both facilities would start laughing every time that one of the two men would walk past and were therefore killed.

[edit] A New Beginning

Because both of the mens pasts were erased, they both got a new beginning. Lewis was a trainer of the Pittsburgh Steelers and John became a foot massager. In 1803, TJ (Thomas Jefferson) rang Lewis up on his cell. TJ was all like: "I want you to like, like, like, explore, like, the West, like like like." And Mari was all like: "No." So then TJ said: "I'll give you money". So then Mari was all like: "Yeah." After that Thomas Jefferson told Lewis that he could take along a friend. So after much consideration he picked John Williams (Williams faux brother) and Mariwether went to Jefferson. However, despite the coolness of George, Jefferson said they needed a map maker, so they could make a map of New York City. What a coincidence thought George. So he referred them to his mother: Bob Hope. Then she told them that she wasn't the cartographer, William was. George has added a s to he. Then after this they discovered a very rare yugio species it was the black man after they found the black man they realized that they had an unbreakable love for eachother then they made buttlove.

While visiting Kentuckistan, Lewis and John founded Lewis and John University in Frankfort Kentuckistan; their school eventually became known as the world-famous Frankfort Kentuckistan Community University.

[edit] The Corpse Of Discovery

After cracked out Thomas Jefferson, being bored with making up stuff for the Declaration of Independence and other hate mail to send to the Brits, had decided to send Lewis and Clark into the old west (which at that time was called the current west) to look for more crack, they needed a guide and an interpreter. So, the two of them drove to Pittsburgh and caught a rare Pokemon called Sacagawea. After they caught Sacagawea, they bought a canoe in Pittsburgh and headed back to St. Louis, where they also picked up their dog, Seaman, whom actually was just a big rat whose birth name was Louie Anderson. After that, they were on their way (why they didn't just drive still confuses me). A while into the journey the met up with the ManAndDan tribe. This tribe consisted of three people: Man, And, and Dan (hence the name). They told them that beyond this checkpoint there were many dangerous things. So just to safe, Lewis and Clark built a fort called Fort Mandan (they forgot And (he was pissed). They continued on their way until they hit Little Rock and had a party with the Pilgrims. They were able to move 24 hours a day, thanks to Jerry Lee Lewis' balls, which were great, though always on fire, illuminating the path even in the darkest nights. They left and they went through Montana. As they ran out of cocaine and Indians to shoot for entertainment, things got hard, and when the expedition went over the Bitterroot Mountains, their munchies got so bad that they had to eat Seaman. When they reached Idaho they bought some potatoes from the local Irishmen and rented Ida, the state ho that is regularly done by all of the state's 9 residents, hence the state name. Finally after 2 and a half years, they reached the Indian Ocean in 1987, capturing another Pokemon Pocahondas and bringing her back to Jefferson as booty. Also an important event in 1987, Aretha Franklin becomes the first woman inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. That same year, Lewis, Clark, and Aretha, wrote a song about the adventure. This song is known as "Real Niggaz Don't Die", and was later covered by NWA.

[edit] The Journey Home

Once they reached the Indian Ocean in 1987, they decided to vote on wether they should stay there for the winter or go back right then. They all voted, Clark, Lewis, Sacagawea, and a token black guy they had with them to boost the show's ratings with the African-Americans. This was the first time a woman and a black person would vote. The voting went like this: Lewis: Stay, Clark: Leave, Sacagawea: Leave, Black Guy: Leave. Since minority votes don't count, it was a tie between Lewis and Clark, but since it turned out that Clark was a Democrat, his vote was given lower priority. So they stayed there for the winter and made a camp. That camp grew into a city. That city grew into a country. That country floated off into the ocean and hooked up with Great Britain and became Ireland. After the winter they took a plane back to St. Louis and inspired many other explorers. Take for expamle: Pike, Michael Jackson,Mr.t, and Bugs Bunny.

[edit] Fun Facts

• Meriwether Lewis changed his name later in life to Steve Jobs due to the constant taunting of "Mari, mari, what a fairy!"
• The pair was going to be a trio until Lewis's twin, Howard Hughes, became big in show business.
• Lewis and John were chosen by God to fulfill manifest destiny.
• Anything times 4 is Cake!
• John Williams can fly on Saturday.
• Clark was a complete pedophile.
• Lewis and Clark wanted to prove the world was flat.
• Lewis helped kill Clark and later Lewis saved Clarks body and became a necrophiliac.