Liberal media
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- Don't bow down before Goebbels? Why not try Conservative media?
The liberal media is a national brainwashing operation controlled by liberals, communists, members of Al-Qaeda, homosexuals, and women. It consists of a group of shabby studios in which $200 camcorders point at hippies sitting in plastic chairs whining about children dying in war torn foreign countries. Even Osama Bin Laden’s crew makes better videos than the liberal media.
The liberal media studios reside in flower shops run by 50 year old English lesbians. The ultimate goal of the liberal media is to brainwash the American public into believing that, owing to the fact that the majority of the world’s human population live in misery and desperation, God doesn’t exist. The reason they do this is to allow Satanists, usually known as Democrats in the United States, to rule over the innocent people of the United States in a merciless and tyrannical fashion.
Liberals hate liberty and Democrats hate democracy, so when the Democrats are in power the people of the United States have no freedom. When the Democrats have total control over the United States they tend to do such things as ending wars started by the former Republican presidents and providing social security and free healthcare for the worthless rat people known as the working class. When the Democrats are in power taxes are so high for the rich (better) people of the United States that they sometimes cannot afford to install more than one new swimming pool in each one of their mansions each year.
[edit] History
The Liberal Media was first ruled by Godfather Michael Corleone in the late 50s. The Corleone administration established the precedent of brutally forcing each of the major news organizations to report in ways that further Peace, Humanity, Decency, and thereby insanity.
The Liberal media, being the strongest yet the only branch of government controlled by the Democratic Party, George Bush declared the Second Civil War in 2002 against the them. In hindsight, the war may have been created unnecessarily when Bush accused the liberal media of planting a pretzel in an assassination attempt.
There is only one concept to take into account when you examine the liberal media. They are never right. No matter what the liberal media do they will always be conveying a message that appears liberal on the surface, but is actually an elaborate scheme to encroach a universal system of ideals onto the public. Just remember that whatever ideas you might have will probably not be the result of your own cognitive fabrication of information, but something you saw on your new plasma television equipped with 90000 different channels that actually convey CONSERVATIVE media. Blame the NSC. Thank you and enjoy your local programming.
[edit] The truth about the liberal media
The Truth of the whole matter is that 99% of the Media is Liberal, since Liberalism is the ass-baby of the media, after it f***ed itself. MTV,SciFi,National Geograpic, Those BET Channels.....for Fuck sake even the Disney Channel are all Puppets to the Liberal Elites! Run, they're coming after you, after all of us! With the plans to transform you into a Paraplegic Black Transexual Lesbian to fund their Legions of Darkness. Hurry! Take your TV, and toss it out of your window.....you live in a one story house? Then get the bat jimmy boy! and beat the shit out of that Liberal Propaganda Machine, but be careful, for upon cracking open your TV will let loose a swarm of tiny Marxs, Stalins, and a few John Lennons to, grab the bugspray and exterminate the little bastards. Okay good, now......wait somebodies at my door.....No! the Liberals have found me.......ahhh they're gouging out my eyes.......
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Okay were back, now onto the liberal media, the Liberal Media is Media which supports Equality and freedom of speech, just look around you and see how the World has prospered since Liberalism's birth, everyones happy and equal, whether your a woman, african american, or a homosexual, your all equal.....heterosexuality?......Males?........White People?......Why they are the Evil Elites who brought doom and destruction to the world, please standby as you are brainwashed by thousands of liberal stations, before long you'll love everyone and desire equality amongst all..........except white heterosexual men who are evil.
[edit] Current Lies by the Liberal Media
As has already been mentioned the liberal media broadcasts from flower shops. The hippy women who run the flower shops also grow marijuana and are therefore stoned out of their minds while reading the news. That means they are incapable of reading the head-up displays with the actual news on and so come up with ridiculous nonsense such as:
- California is a wonderful place
- Hairspray pollutes the atmosphere
- Kitten huffing is fun
- Obama is straight and black.
- There are insurgents in Iraq, who are helping the Iraqi people.
- We haven't caught Osama bin Laden yet, but nobody should care (Because 911 was an inside job).
- The United States is supposed to listen to the United Nations.
- FEMA responds quickly to emergencies.
- George W. Bush's presidency is not the Golden Presidency it is.
- Americans should actually care about Canada. (How could they even consider saying that?)
- Congress actually does something.
- Democrats have a chance of winning something.
- Republicans are completely devoid of souls.
- People don't enjoy wars.
- People actually watch the news.
- State execution of prisoners could be evil.
- SUVs pollute the atmosphere.
- The moon.
- MySpace is better then Hell.
- Hilary Clinton is not a man.
- Oprah Winfrey is the best woman who ever lived.
- The sky is green
- Bill Clinton is innocent
- Global Warming is real.
- Smoking causes lung cancer
- Social Security is not a regressive tax.
- People who don't work should get money from money stolen from the paychecks of people who do work.
- Al Gore should be president.
- "The Day After Tomorrow" is based on scientific fact.
- We need to embrace diversity.
- Oscar Wilde is God. (Bastards)
- People enjoy terrorism
- Osama bin Laden is better than George Bush
- Michael Jackson is an innocent man and will not harm young boys
- Americans should believe everything they see on television
- Terrorism is fun
- Communism works
- Al Gore is god
- Al Gore is your master
- Bill Clinton knows what the meaning of the word "is" is
- Fidel Castro was a "dashing revolutionary"--Not a joke
- People need to be taxed more in order to fund the National Liberalization Front
- George Bush sacrifices puppies
- George Bush invented pollution
- George Bush killed your family and stuffed their bodies in the basement
- Barack Obama will solve all your problems
- Barack Obama is the height of perfection
- Barack Obama is the messiah and Muhammad is his prophet
- Oprah saved the world from General Zod
- Ojay Simpson didn't kill his wife despite evidence and DNA
- Ojay Simpson was framed by President Bush in conjunction with Karl Rove
- Terrorism is okay as long as it kills Republicans and whites.
