Library nazi
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[edit] Purpose in Hitlers Army
Even with all the book burning going on Hitler did need a fair share of librarians. their sole purpose was to make sure people were not having fun whilst inside a library the only books inside Libraries in Nazi Germany known to Nazi's as the "Prime" books were of course Mein Kampf(Hitler's book written on his struggles with Homosexuality. he really liked the Analverkehr) and of course the popular do-it-your-self book, Killing and Cooking Jews for Dummies.
[edit] The Laws of the Library Nazi
To be a Library Nazi you must obey very strict rules and must never break them. the penalty for breaking just one of these simple rules is death by Brickrock, you see the brickrock if you eat it can give you the Exploding Shits whitch in turn if you eat enough of it can eventually kill you and everyone in a 40 meter radius from the point of shitting or (P.O.S.)
The Laws are simple:
- Always be a dirty bitch to all library goer's.
- Fun is not permitted.
- Pre heat oven every morning to 600 degrees.
- Don't forget to put a timer on your Jews, nobody likes a crispy Jew.
- No other books are permitted other than the two "prime" books
- Reading is not alowed
- Computers are for show only, they should never be touched.
- No food or drink is allowed in the building, unless it is Pork.
- No Reshelving
[edit] Weakness
The library Nazi is said in Biblical times to be indestructable. Many scientists have guessed that only a moist towellete dipped in pure liquid Carbon could destroy the evil Nazi but it was later found out that most household things such as bulletts and knives could kill the beasts. (The Sale of Moist Towelettes dropped considerably that year.)
[edit] What to do if you encounter a Libray Nazi
Whatever you do do noy piss it off! many Helpless Children no longer have fathers because of the monstosity of the Library Nazi's power. If you do encounter a True Library Nazi stay very quiet and only say the words "G.I. JOE" for it confuses the Lib Nazi and renders you invisable to it's Cat like hearing and Dog like reflexes.
