Lil Jon

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Jump to: navigation, search

OH-KAAAYYYYY!

“Seriously, I don't know what the big deal is with this guy. I could make better music than him.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Lil Jon

“What!”

~ Lil Jon on Oscar Wilde

“No, really I can do a hell of a lot better than you.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Lil Jon

“What!”

~ Lil Jon on Oscar Wilde

“Are you deaf?”

~ Oscar Wilde on Lil Jon

“What!”

~ Lil Jon on Oscar Wilde

“Ahh, Fuck it.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Lil Jon

“OH-KAAAYYYYY!”

~ Lil Jon on Oscar Wilde

Lil Jon, also known as Little Jonathan by white people and is currently King of of the sovereign nation of Crunk.. (Pimp Master Flex aka Dr. Crunk was the first King of the sovereign nation of Crunk.)

Mark was here!

While little is known about Lil Jon's past, Lil Jon and his cabinet, the Eastside Boyz have taken over as leaders of the ancient civilization of Crunk, by reviving its ruins. Lil Jon has highly diplomatic abilities, so much that he created a whole new language based on Latin, called Crunkish. Lil Jon and the Eastside Boyz have also passed on their faith in the land of Crunk through their constitutional amendments, which double as music albums popular in the United Spades. Such amendments include (in no particular order): Get Crunk Who U Wit Da Album, Kings Of Crunk, Crunk Juice, We Still Crunk, Not Giving up Crunkness Anytime Soon, Really! Still Crunk!, Who is spreading these abhorrant rumours that we are no longer crunk?, and the amendment that elected him for president;Merry Crunkmas.

1 Accomplishments
2 Crunkish
3 Controversy
4 See Also

[edit] Accomplishments

How could we forget the world nomination for the best line in a song ever: "To the window, to the wall,till the sweat drop down my balls (MY BALLS) "? Not only is this a line that shows us the way of the Force but is also similar to any Oscar Wilde quote. Nevertheless LiL Jon indeed WAS nominated as the first black man to ever record a rap cd in 1835 when he was born. He taught Tupac, Christina Aguilera and R Kelly how to rap and was considered as theYoda the of rap game. Similar to Yoda he also can't spell, talk nor write English fluently. Infact, his command of the English language is so inept he needs a personal Ghetto translator to talk to people. Although, many people have pointed out that a translator is unnecessary as all he ever says is "WHAT" or "OK" or "YEAHHH". He later on caught up in a big battle with Adolph Hitler during World War 2. It was a freestyle battle. LiL Jon, skilled in rhyming, of course won. The finishing 'diss' is commonly believed to be "Cuz i skeet skeet skeet on you nigga, skeet skeet skeet." Adolph Hitler has, humiliated by being defeted by a retard, committed suicide later on. LiL Jon did however not took part in funeral. Despite his victory over Hitler, his sexuality is now being called into question. Many rap aficionados have commentated it is not acceptable to talk about skeeting on another man. Later on when his songs such as "I don't give a fuck" and "get low" brought peace to the world, he decided to hook up with eastside boyz (should not be mistaken for Backstreet boys). Supposedly, he is currently developing a recording contract with a David Scott. Rest is history. 'Cept that mutha fucka killed rap.

[edit] Crunkish

Crunkish is based around a number of expressions called Crunkisms. The proper way to write Crunkish is in all caps. Example of Some Crunkisms, Words n Shit in Lil Jon's Dictionary:

WHAT
OKAY (variation: OKAY-KAY-KAY)
YEAH
AH LETS GO
SKEET SKEET
BITCHIN' WIT' SLAMMITUDE
369
TAPPIN' DAT ASS
BACK DAT ASS UP
YOWZA YOWZA YOWZA
GET CRUNK
W00T
Excuse me sir, but may I partake in your illegal substance abuse?
WAAATCCHH OUUUT!
Let's get this thang cruuunk!

For more information on Crunkish expressions and grammar, please refer to; Crunkish.

Other than that, LiL Jon has no accomplishments. He lives in a small city in a garbage can where he holds his favorite CD's in one hand, and his penis in the other. straight up.

[edit] Controversy

In August of 2006 it came to light that Lil Jon, standing monarch of the Crunk nation, has been holding secret negotiations with fundamentalist Islamic terrorists. The private negotiations, which became public knowledge in wake of the Hotlanta Crunk Genocide ravaging the Dirty Souf in late 2006, included a deal in which Lil Jon would provide weapons grade uranium to freedom-hating terrorists in exchange for the world's largest cache of Crunk Juice, which lies buried beneath Iran. Drilling began soon after the deal was made, and currently the Crunk nation controls more than 90 percent of the world's supply of Crunk Juice. This is troublesome for Americans as America has instated a strict trade embargo with the Crunk nation until they agree to stop murdering strippers who won't show love to a thug.