Limewire
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
“Ah yes, Limewire... that is where I downloaded that video of Britney Spears doing anal I believe. Great stuff”
~ Oscar Wilde on Limewire
Limewire is a tool that was created by various record labels within the music industry for the purpose of allowing users to freely share their music with each other. It is indeed a very generous offering, and when interviewed about it, the manager of EMI Records said 'Well we're just so proud of what we've done that we want people to share our wonderful gift of music for free, man!! Peace, brother!!'. What a nice chap.
While it is mainly used for legally downloading music and films, many users (who have got annoyed with their computer crashing on them a lot) also have the option of downloading a number of different viruses to get revenge and really teach their computer a lesson. Why just today my computer kept giving me that 'Page cannot be displayed' shit so I thought, OK how about a Trojan horse for your ass, huh?!? Won't be trying that shit again any time soon will ya?!?
Unfortunately some users have rebelled against this free-for-all system, complaining that they are no longer able to financially support their favourite artist any more and in some cases have even been caught red-handed purchasing a copy of the original music from a record store in protest. This has resulted in a number of lawsuits which are only increasing in number by the day. Our advice? Don't do it, it ain't worth it!!
Contents |
[edit] How It Works
Basically as the name suggest a number of wires (made out of lime) are connected from the back of the computer into a giant super-egg in the middle of the sky (owned by Dr. Robotnik), which contains every song made, ever (even ones that haven't been made yet).
Then the user simply connects to teh internets, logs on and once connected can download as many songs, viruses and animal pornos as they can handle until they asplode.
[edit] Technical Shit
Limewire is a pee 2 pee (P2P) client which uses the G-G-G-G-G-G-G-UNITella network to get stuff from. Uploading/downloading anything from there is completely legal, unless you have permission from the original author.
As of May 31, 2042, Limewire has been downloaded 40 squillion million billion times, according to figures from Upload.com.
Some rip-off merchants have attempted to blatantly rip-off Limewire's idea and get a piece of the downloading action for themselves (but luckily nobody cares). Such programs include Crapster, EDonkeyKong, Kazoo, FrostyTheSnowmanWire and Arse.
[edit] Hints and Tips for a better Limewire experience
- If you see a file called TOTALLY HIP TRACK, definitely download it because it will be exactly what you are looking for and definitely not a virus. You will be utterly blown away because it is such a totally hip track, trust me.
- If you are looking to download a large program/video or whatever and something comes up with the same name, but only around 500KB in size, definitely download that too. Basically this is a condensed version made especially for you by nice caring people just so you don't have to wait as long to download it (aren't they nice?!?). Once again, this is sooo NOT a virus.
- When downloading from someone, make sure you chat to them! Limewire has an in-built chat facility and believe me there is nothing people would rather do when you are downloading a file from them then spend their time having a completely pointless conversation with a random stranger. This works especially best if you tell them your complete life story and come across like a dangerous weirdo.
- Make sure you upload the biggest files you can possibly find on your computer to share (preferably around 500MB-ish). When people start downloading these from you, you will feel immensely satisfied that you are doing the other person a favour and the 5 hour download time will not be a problem.
