Ling-Ling
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| Ling-Ling | |
|---|---|
| Japanese name | Ring-Ring |
| Stage | Basic |
| Evolves from | Pikachu |
| Evolves to | None |
| Generation | Fifth |
| Species | Battle-Monster Pokémon |
| Type | Electric/Dark |
| Height | 1 ft 4 in (0.4 m) |
| Weight | 13.0 lb (6.0 kg) |
| Ability | Static |
| Next Pokemon | Charmillionaire |
| Previous Pokemon | Teh Cheat |
“No! Dirty dishes, my one weakness!”
~ Ling-Ling on Dirty Dishes
“Mmm...good with ketchup.”
~ Oscar Wilde on competitive food eating
Ling-Ling (not to be confused with the hermaphrodite Panda Bear) is a species of mouse Pokémon of the electric and dark elements. They are a member of the Pikachu family due to their habits, lifestyle, move sets, kindness, acute retardation, personality, typing speed, hot dog taste, vulgar language, and the fact that when they shoot electricity, the immense power can cause the surroundings... to do nothing. Note: the player can choose to either evolve his/her Pikachu into Raichu or Ling-Ling.
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[edit] Biology/Information
Like their cousin Pikachu, Ling-Ling have been known to inhabit caves and forests. More recently, they have been seen on the sets of reality shows. Ling-Ling are very territorial and difficult to capture. Ling-Ling are also fluent in 'Japarean'. They have been known to kill unsuspecting bystanders without warning. They are also known to have attacked and even killed their trainers if left in a Poké Ball for to long. One such case involved a Ling-Ling killing it's trainer with an electric attack moments after being let out of it's Poké Ball. The Ling-Ling in question however, denied killing it's trainer when interviewed. Due to this Pokémon's violent nature , extreme caution should be used when catching a Ling-Ling or if you own one. Also, they are not recommended as good Pokémon for novice trainers.
[edit] In Battle
Because of their high status and energy levels, as well as their toughness no matter how powerful the opponent is, Ling-Ling have been a common sight in Pokémon battle tournaments. Some of Ling-Ling's notable attacks include Lightning Jolt, Dark Lightning Ball,Kitten huffing, and Gigashock. When Ling-Ling is equipped with bling-blingX (given by Doomsday or Friday), it's attacks can even slay the mightiest of warriors!
[edit] Controversy
Because of Ling-Lings' homicidal tendencies and some trainers claiming their Pokémon had been killed by an opponent's Ling-Ling and threatening to sue the league, Ling-Ling was banned from most official tournaments. This caused a huge controversy among trainers who had a Ling-Ling that this new rule was a violation of their civil rights, as well as the civil rights of their Ling-Ling. The Ling-Ling trainers filed a massive lawsuit against the 3 regions that banned the use of Ling-Ling in their league: Kanto, Johto, and Sinnoh. The trainers lost the lawsuit however because of the number of victimized trainers whose Pokémon were killed by a Ling-Ling that testified on behalf of the 3 regions. They also kick ass.
[edit] Recent "Britney Spears" Inccident
After leaving the "Drawn Together" house to get the groceries at the nearby L.A. store Ling Ling spotted Britney Spears leaving the parking lot. He dropped his groceries as he ran towards her car yelling "Blitney Blitney!" while holding his "Oops I Did it Again" CD. Unfortunatly as he got to his car she just yelled "F**k off orange face" and she ran over his foot. Ling Ling was dissapointed, however he did sell the sock he was wearing on his leg when he was ran over for $150 on E-bay.
[edit] Attacks
Below is a list of attacks learned by Ling-Ling when it levels-up, as well as attacks it can learn from TM/HMs.
[edit] Level-up Attacks
| Level | Attack |
|---|---|
| - | Thundershock |
| - | Chuck Norris Roundhouse kick |
| 1 | Taco Bell Shit Fling |
| 5 | Michael Jackson Dance |
| 10 | Thunderwave |
| 13 | Quick Attack |
| 18 | Bitch slap |
| 24 | Pwn |
| 28 | Thunderbolt |
| 35 | Crunch |
| 37 | Thunder fang |
| 39 | Faint Attack |
| 41 | Vital Throw |
| 54 | Fucking Kill |
| 62 | Seizure Attack |
| 75 | Volt Tackle |
| 90 | Iron Tail |
| 100 | Thunder |
| 200 | Rat Scat Shat |
| 300 | Butterfly Kick |
| 500 | Zap Cannon |
| 666 | Rain Satan Down Your Throat And Burn Your Testicles! |
| 777 | Godmode |
| 1000 | Shoop da Whoop |
| 2000 | Use a princess skull for sex |
| 5000 | Thunderstorm |
| OVER 9000 | Kamehameha |
| 50000 | Hyper Beam |
| 100000 | Giga Impact |
| 100001 | Mass Racial Genocide |
| 321145645574654564561651684651454654965496878564877779878487 | zoro slash |
| 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 | The Apocalypse |
| 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 | Splash |
[edit] TM/HM Attacks
| TM/HM | Attack |
|---|---|
| TM06 | Toxic |
| TM Q | Rofl |
| TM10 | Hidden Power |
| TM16 | Emo Cut |
| TM17 | Protect (Balls) |
| TM18 | Rain Dance |
| TM21 | Double Team |
| TM24 | Thunderbolt |
| TM27 | Divide by Zero |
| TM28 | Brick Break |
| TM31 | Buttsecks |
| TM43 | Secret Girlfriend |
| TM44 | Masturbate |
| TM56 | Hurl |
| TM57 | Charge iPod |
| TM73 | Selfdestruct |
| TM81 | Godmode |
| TM86 | Tribute |
| HM04 | Anthrax |
| HM06 | Death by Cuddly Kittens |
[edit] In the Pokémon trading card game
Ling-Ling has appeared only once in the Pokémon TCG in the "Battle Masters" series of booster packs. The Ling-Ling card is extremely rare as only 30 were ever produced because they were banned from tournaments shortly after being released because the use of such a powerful card could be considered cheating. Because of their rarity, the 30 Ling-Ling cards are highly sought by collectors. There have been reports of some collectors beating each other within an inch of each others' life for a Ling-Ling card. In fact, one trading card collector known as Jeff "Comic Book Guy" Albertson almost sold his store for a Ling Ling card. Ling-Ling has 6000 hit points (HP) and 2 powerful attacks. Ling-Ling's first attack, Asian Gibberish, which requires 1 colorless energy allows you to flip 2 coins and the attack does 100 damage times the number of heads. Ling-Ling's second attack, Sever Skull of Adversaries, which requires no energies since it is his special ability, allows you to multiply the number of fingers you have by 100, "deck" your opponent, and steal his/her cards while he/she is unconscious. Rumors that the card can grant wishes as well are currently being investigated.
[edit] In the Pokémon Anime
Ling-Ling made an appearance in the Pokémon anime episode Battle! Pikachu vs. Ling-Ling in which Ash and Pikachu meet a powerful trainer known as W. Sockbat who claims that nobody has beat him and that those who tried suffered "tragic" defeats. Being the gullible trainer he is, Ash challenges W. Sockbat to a battle. Ash decides to use Pikachu, while Sockbat uses a Ling-Ling. The episode was never aired in the US due to graphic violence depicting Ling-Ling beating Pikachu within an inch of his life.
[edit] See Also
| Pokémon: | Electrode - Charmander - Grue - Hyundai - Jigglypuff - Ling-Ling - Meowth - Mewtwo - Midna - Mudkip - Pichu - Pikachu - Prophet polywag - Teh Cheat - Towelie - Whangdoodle - Wobbuffet - Togepi - Pikachu (Ash) - Piplup - Manaphy - Torchic - Mew - Yoshi |
| People: | Ash - Ash Rectum - Team Rocket - Misty - Brock - Professor Oak - Nurse Joy - May (Pokemon) - Max (Pokemon) - Officer Jenny - Pokemon Kid - Eric Dickerson - Dawn |
| Other: | Pikachu seizure - Pikachusetts - Pokémon Battles - Pokémon (The Funny Version) - Windows FireRed/LeafGreen - Anime series - PokeBitches - 100 Worst Pokémon Cash-ins - Pokemon (Show) - List of Pokémon - UnNews - Christian Symbology - FCC censorship |
| Drawn Together cast |
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Princess Clara - Wooldoor Sockbat - Foxxy Love - Toot Braunstein - Ling-Ling - Xandir - Spanky Ham - Captain Hero |



