Lipocram
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“In Soviet Russia, fat crams you!”
~ Russian Reversal on Lipocrams
Lipocram is a medical procedure that is the opposite of liposuction. It is generally performed by taking fat from various sources and 'cramming' it into someone.
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[edit] Lipocramming
Performing a lipocram is often referred to as lipocramming. Only skilled doctors and nurses may take part in the complicated procedure. First, fat taken from various humans, animals, and George W. Bush is loaded into a syringe. Then, the doctor or nurse injects the fat into the patient's body.
[edit] Obtaining Fat for Lipocrams
Fat for the lipocram procedure is generally obtained by performing liposuctions on other people, animals, or sometimes even George W. Bush. The fat is then deep frozen until it can be put to good use in a lipocram.
In some cases, patients find it too unpleasant to use fat from President Bush when other sources have been exhausted. In these cases, it is possible to create synthetic fat that will work just as well. However, this synthetic fat has been linked to the following diseases: Lipocancer, Fat Boy syndrome, Hepatitis Z, Gonorrhea, and Gerbilitis.
[edit] Improper Lipocramming
Sometimes people try to lipocram substances other than fat into their body or others' bodies. Some of these substances are:
[edit] Lipocramming and Fun
Getting a lipocram isn't fun, but jiggling the fat around is! (pictured)
[edit] Lipocram in Medicine
Lipocram has various medical uses. It can be used to fight anorexia nervosa, bulemia, or just plain undernourishment.
Lipocramming can also be used as a male growth enhancer.
Veterinarians even use lipocramming to help underfed pets or wild animals get back up to speed so they don't waste money buying pet food.
[edit] Lipocramming in History
It is a well known fact that the evil scientist Dr. Nosebite lipocrammed a scuba tank into his left toe. This caused him to die of high blood pressure. George W. Bush has tried numerous times to lipocram various objects into his brain, to no avail. It's just too small.
[edit] Lipocramming in Culture
Lipocramming has taken a place in the popular culture of the United States. It is not uncommon to see people flocking to new Lipocram salons or Lipocram booths at the mall. Normally, groups of people who are in lipocram salons have a nickname, fatamarans. Some olympians have even decided that lipocramming can be useful.
Many advertisers for weight-loss products use lipocramming to be able to truthfully tell viewers that, "I lost 57 pounds in 3 days!!!"
[edit] People Who Lipocram
Some well-known people who Lipocram are:
[edit] Communists and Lipocramming
Lipocramming has long been a favorite of Communist countries. Why, you ask? Well, simply because the idea of shoving fat into someone else's body against their will seems to appeal to communists.
