Lipstick
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A lipstick is an innocent looking "cosmetic" item. Girls wear them for some reason. Variations include lip gloss and lip balm and kisses.
==The story of the lipstick==
Lipsticks are not made of fish scales or cow brains or whatever those companies claim. They are, in fact, made out of the blood and saliva of the girl's ex boyfriend (who dumped her because she wanted to give him a makeover). When they are mixed together, the most awesome drug is made and it makes people high. This is the reason why they are so damn expensive. And why there are so many colours (different blood types, ex. A, B, C, D, E, etc.) They were first made popular when this girl from this place got dumped by her boyfriend. Of course, her lips got all shrivelly from lack of kisses. So she got her ex-boyfriend's blood and saliva somehow and made it into a stick, which she smeared all over her mouth, and stopped it from shrivelling up.
[edit] Current Uses and Variations
Nowadays, the lipstick is still made in the same way. Realise that girls who have boyfriends never have lipstick, because their boyfriend IS their "lipstick".
Lip gloss is the same except that there is only a tint of blood, as most of it is saliva. Lip balm is blood+saliva+another ingredient that keeps the lips excited for ages. Hm, I wonder what that is.
One should never keep lipstick for over a day, because by that time all the ingredients separate and you're left accused of being a vampire. However, most lipsticks last less than 20 minutes anyway.
[edit] How to Wear Lipstick
1. Open the canister thing.
2. Somehow get the lipstick out.
3. Smear a layer over the lips. It's not called a LIP stick for no reason.
4. (This is the best if it's lip balm) Suck at it real hard until it's gone.
5. Throw the canister away. Looks like you've just spent all your money.
