Llamas v. fire

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[edit] Overview

This very issue has plagued man-kind for upwards of seven weeks. Who would win in a fight between a llama and fire? Many of the proponents of each side insist that the issue is clear-cut, but it may not be as simple as you think. Below I offer detailed information on the merits of both combatants and discuss the history of this great question.

[edit] History

The match-up in question actually came from a very surprising source. A few months ago, famed rapper diVinci released his hit song entitled 'Llama Killa'. diVinci, a being of pure flame, enraged the llama community, which had previously been a key demographic for his record sales. The resulting media coverage of the llamas protesting and the fire/llama gang wars in the streets of Chicago has since begged the question, 'Who would win in a fight between a llama and fire?'

[edit] Combatant 1: The Llama

The llama is a fierce competitor, weighing in at 450 pounds at 8 degrees centigrade (up to 900 pounds at room temperature), and able to run at up to 25 mph (and ice skate at 32 mph). Llamas exhibit a special advantage over groundhogs and other floor-dwellers, due to their extreme love of stomping. It should be noted that fire can be stomped out too, so it should be an interesting battle.

[edit] Combatant 2: Fire

Fire is actually a really pissed off liquid, as you can see by the reddish color. If you come in contact with fire it latches on to you and starts eating. Fire is only known to attack mammals, because it needs the hair to hold on to. Interestingly enough, llamas have the ability to instantly shed all their hair when pissed. Fire then has to run around on the ground and try to bite the llamas' feet.hates water and peels skin of

[edit] Conclusions

It would seem that Llamas have the upper hand in the Llamas vs. fire match up. However fire has been known to be particularly quick to adapt, often times making treaties with explosives and fireworks simply to aide in conquest over its current foe. It has been recently revealed that Llamas have been in high-level talks with explosives simply to cut off the perceived adavantage to fire.

Whatever the outcome, this battle-royal is heating up. Get your Llama proof armor and your flame retardant ready! For only $29.95 you too can watch the carnage play out on Pay-Per-view. Purchase it today!