Lo Pan
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“Son of a bitch must payâ€
~ Jack Burton on David Lo Pan
“So now you feel screeoccupar!â€
~ Mewtwo on Lo Pan
[edit] Lo Pan Background
David Lo Pan was a founding member of influential 80's hair metal act, Twisted Sister, having written most of the music for the group, up until the third sister album 'Stay Hungry', when he was kicked from the band by Dee Snider after lo pan caused big trouble in little china. Lo pan's massive supernatural powers allows him to master any instrument given to him to play, and he has hit high vocal notes that made King Diamond cry like a little girl.
He later made a short comeback to rock with his band PanHead, with fellow members Thunder on lead guitar, Lightning on drums and another crazy dude with a big hat, Rain. After five months on tour Thunder and Lo Pan had a falling out, which caused thunder to expand to about eight times his body size, explode, and leave Lo Pans musical career on hold again.
He did not return to the music industry for almost 20 years. During this period he took control of Japan.
After the second death of Charlie Watts, this time fatal, Lo Pan took up an offer by longtime friend (and rumored lover) Mick Jagger to tour with The Rolling Stones, and this union has yet to come to an end. It is believed Lo Pan signed a 30 year deal to tour with the stones, which will keep him busy with the boys until the year 2036.
Lo Pan has recently been seen out and about with his two 'second hand' adopted children, sourced form previous owners Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. He has also been seen at various Scientologist meetings, and was spotted on several occasions flying in the spaceship of noted scientologists John Travolta and Mr Kotter. He is also the creator of Lo Pan's Razor, one of the most influential beliefs in the world.
[edit] Lo Pan's Greatest Hits
- Hell of the Upside-down Sinners.
- Shut up Mr Burton!
- Two girls with green eyes.
- Miao Yin, my green eyed gal.
- Time to die Mr. Burton.
- Now this really pisses me off to no end.
[edit] See Also
- Lo Pan's Razor
- Big trouble in little china
- Twisted Sister
- The Rolling Stones
- Scientology
- Angelina Jolie
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