Lobster

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Lobster.
Lobster.

The lobster (Species 32654) is a large marine triskaidecapod type of fish with claws, antennae, a crunchy exoskeleton, and an alarming number of legs. There. Now you know some of the anatomical features of lobsters. Hopefully, this lede has been helpful.

Contents

[edit] Lobster Anatomy

This picture has the potential to mislead you about lobster anatomy.  Sorry.
This picture has the potential to mislead you about lobster anatomy. Sorry.

Most of the non-sexual appendages of the lobster serve at least one specialized function:

  • Claws - for hunting as well as defense against predators.
  • Legs - for walking around underwater.
  • Tail - for being delicious.
  • Extremely long tentacle - for gently caressing and undressing female lobsters and then injecting deadly venom
  • Antennae - for something. Perhaps for receiving interplanetary transmissions from some kind of overlords somewhere. Or maybe for making the lobster look kind of silly to its prey, to lull them into a false sense of security.
An artist's depiction of a mutant lobster attacking a city.
An artist's depiction of a mutant lobster attacking a city.

[edit] Lobster Psychology

Most modern lobsters suffer from severe depression and will readily fling themselves into a pot of boiling water just to end it all. A few altruistic charities, such as Red Lobster, have offered to provide counseling for these lobsters; however, despite their best efforts, the damn things just keep ending up in the pot.

[edit] Scorpions

Scorpions are horrid! They're friggin' evil lobsters! Everyone hates scorpions.

[edit] See also

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