Loki

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Loki.

Loki is a pagan Norse god who is often misunderstood and considered evil. A creature of chaos who helped develop Change Management and other interesting things. His influence is wide felt throughout the known world.

Loki introduced Change Management into the hard sciences, causing the collapse of the former Soviet Union.
Loki introduced Change Management into the hard sciences, causing the collapse of the former Soviet Union.


Contents

[edit] Intro

Loki was born to Farbauti and Laufey, two frost giants living in the suburbs of Asgard. In one of his many rages, Odin destroyed those suburbs and adopted Loki who was the only survivor. Odin thought that Loki reminded him of one of his elder brothers named Lodur. Odin made Loki a god, but all of the really good godly powers had already been handed out. God of Chaos was left, but Loki likes to call it change and considers himself a master of Change Management.

Loki has two step-brothers, Thor, and Baldr who were treated better than he was. Odin always threw parties for Thor and Baldr, but never for Loki. Loki was the original red headed step child and was constantly flogged and forced to watch reality television. After hours of watching an Icelandic Idol marathon Loki began a mental metamorphosis...

Loki found that he was quite good at bringing about change. He also found that using change, he could shapeshift into different forms. Even become a horse or woman or some other being. He claims to be a victim of circumstances, often others forcing his hand in things.

Aside from these skills, Loki also enjoys a good meatloaf, but only with garlic salt on it.

[edit] Christian Influence

Snorri´s account of Loki has him influenced by Christianity. Some say that Loki had helped spread it, converting Pagan temples into Christian ones. Some disagree and consider The Poetic Edda which is not influenced by Christianity. Yet Loki does have fun controlling the God-Fearing Republicans as well as controlling Prosperity Wicca. Making Loki one of the few Pagan gods shared with Christians. If you are a Christian you may be a Loki worshiper and not even know it, especially if you are a Republican.

[edit] Loki's other names

Loki is known as other names. Some people call him Loke, Lowkey, Loge, Lokkja, or Lohho but his name is exactly like Marvel Comics spells it, as Loki. It is like trying to call tin foil as aluminum foil in the USA, it just isn't quite right. After all, millions of rednecks in the USA call him Loki, while Europe knows him as other names, but why actually listen to those who worship him like those in Europe? The rednecks have it right, they always have it right. By the way they spell color as color not colour, the same goes for humor, it is not humour but humor. Again the redneck versions of these spellings are correct here, not the European versions, regardless of who supposedly invented the words in the first place. This is because Marvel Comics has the factual view on the spelling of Loki's real name, and it supercedes all former literature written on Loki. Why Jack Kirby spent a whole two hours researching Norse mythology when developing The Mighty Thor and Journey into Mystery comic books, so we know this to be the true spelling of the being known as Loki. Jack Kirby also said that Thor does not wear a beard and has blonde hair and not red hair, like other Norse literature claims. Clearly Kirby is the most experienced researcher on Norse mythology that there ever was. The only thing that Kirby got wrong was that he made Loki a villian, when clearly that was not the case. Many followers of Loki protest the Marvel Comics typecasting of Loki as a villian, and say that Thor was the real villian. Yet clearly the debate goes on.

[edit] Ragnarök and Roll

It is rumored at the end of time, that Loki will lead the battle of the bands in a Ragnarök and Roll concert. Loki and the Frost Giants are to take on Odin and the Asgardians in this epic event. The event will be so loud and powerful that it might actually destroy all creation and lead to the birth of new Gods, or at least allow Scientology to take its place. It is commonly believed to be hosted in Norway with Dimmu Borgir playing in the interval.

[edit] Loki's popularity

The Internet is full of people who chose Loki as a handle. This is because of how popular Loki is, and how cool hip youngsters want to emulate him. Loki is chosen more often as a handle than Batman, Captain Kirk, or even Oscar Wilde.

[edit] Modern Work

Loki is an upstanding member of the Internet community and had supporting file sharing networks with Lokitorrent, until he claimed the FBI was trying to shut him down and he was collecting money to fight the lawsuit from the MPAA. Later it was found out to be a scam to collect money from the gullable pirates on the Internet. Loki claimed all he was doing was looting the looters. He later shut down the Lokitorrent site, and went into providing porn on filesharing networks instead.

Loki helped out in the War on Terra with the appearing/disappearing weapons of mass destruction trick in Iraq that lead to W's missing donuts. He also instructed prison guards on how to interrogate suspected terrorists in Abu Ghraib Prison and instructed them to take pictures. He has been providing George W. Bush with lots of useful advice on how to run the USA and stay in power.

Loki even found a way to reorganise parts of the south in the USA, esp the red states. It is all part of his urban renewal project.

[edit] See also


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