Lord of the Things

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Lord of the Things is a popular movie about an itty bitty little hobbit going to some giant volcano in a very bad place,....What am I saying? It's not a popular movie about an itty bitty little hobbit going to some giant volcano in a very bad place! It's about evil lord Gandalf in a very bloody battle! Not, it's not that either. OK, this is going to go on for a very long time. You might as well return to the page Lord of the rings.

(about four hours later,...)

I have it! Lord of the Things is about Frodo zeh hobbit ruling everyone with his all-powerful ring!

Contents

[edit] Frodo's story

Frodo was a happy little hobbit when his second cousin three times removed, Bilbo Bagits, gave him a gold ring. Bilbo died shortly after from falling down the stairs in his one-story hobbit-hole. Frodo took over the place and was named Lord of the Ring. He wanted more, however, and changed his name to Sauron and took over a land and called it Mordor (which he could not simply tank-cat into). He made a couple more rings for good measure and sent out an army of ringwraiths he had captured and set out to take over the world.

His first stop was the Shire, where Frodo's son, Saruman, had become addicted to pipe-weed. He stole it from all the other hobbits and ordered them to grow more of it. Frodo stole all the pipe-weed Saruman had stolen from the hobbits who had stolen it from some innocent farmer and killed Saruman.

One day, when Frodo was out on a mission to conquer the Galaxy far far away, he dropped his ring and lost it.

Saruman came back to life and changed his name to Gandalf. He went to a very bloody battle and became evil. So I guess it is about evil lord Gandalf in a very bloody battle!

A hobbit named Samwise Gamgee found the ring one day that Frodo had lost. He took it home to his hobbit hole and gave it to his friend, Gandalf. Gandalf discovers who owns the ring and kills Frodo. Up in heaven, Bilbo said "Great! Now I have someone to deliver my pizza! The Heavenly Pizza Service never brings it on time."

Frodo from then on was a happy little hobbit in heaven, and he became friends with Legolas the fag and Gimli . Later, came along Aragorn this tall guy with a beard and Boromir who always wears a sword. One day, Boromir killed Frodo.

[edit] Some fun things about Frodo

Frodo and Sanwise Gamgee are eternal enemies. When Sam killed Frodo, Frodo hated Sam even more and killed him.

Frodo enjoys punching Boromir in the face, the one who killed him.

Frodo hates everyone, because they killed him.

[edit] List of people who killed Frodo

  • Samwise Gamgee
  • Aragorn
  • Boromir
  • Legolas
  • Samwise Gamgee
  • Gimli
  • Pippin
  • Meriadoc
  • Samwise Gamgee
  • Chuck Norris
  • You
  • Hitler
  • Darth Vader
  • Samwise Gamgee
  • The liliputians
  • Samwise Gamgee
  • John Wilkes Booth
  • Chuck Norris (again)
  • Six Drummers from slipknot
  • Frodo (suicide)
  • Yoda (frodo contracted aids during an orgy, yoda then became pregnant and had a child which he named Colonel Sanders)
  • Superman
  • A cat named Gilbert
  • Your mom
  • Batman
  • George Samson, winner of Britain's Got Talent
  • Your mom a second time
  • Samwise Gamgee
How Frodo died.
How Frodo died.

[edit] What happened to Frodo in the Galaxy far far away

Frodo decided to go to the Galaxy far far away one day. It was a short distance from Mordor, so he simply strolled there. When he was there, he met a really pretty girl named Liea and married her. They had a child called Luke Skywalker. One day, this weirdo hippie guy named Darth Vader came along and put his lightsaber through Frodo's chest, and so becoming one of the many people who killed Frodo. Frodo returned home to Mordor and ordered a lightsaber on Amazon.com which, surprisingly, was delivered to his doorstep by a bunch of wacked up hippies hoping to sell pot.


Frodo having a conversation with his enemies just before his death.
Frodo having a conversation with his enemies just before his death.
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