Mr. Lordi
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“Even his costume is better looking than my husband”
~ Victoria Beckham on Mr. Lordi
“After a thourough five minute investigation we conclude that he is not a paedo he wants to be accepted for who he is and you are a sick freak if you think otherwise”
~ Chief Wiggum on Mr. Lordi
“The Devil is a loser and he's my bitch. Hmm, that would make a good song lyric.”
~ ~Oscar Wilde on Mr. Lordi
“Lorid won The Eurovision Song Contest only because of their fancy fireworks.”
~ Captain Obvious on Lordi
First of all, Mr. Lordi is, for the people who already been in hell, the lead singer on a "Glam Hard Metal" band called Lordi. The band is composed of Zombies, Demons and/or any other monstrous creatures... Even a Grue appears in the guest musicians. Mr. Lordi can look like a simple human if we forget the horns, wings, pointy teeth and the burning red eyes, but in some very rare video tapes (some oracles call them "Music Clips") we can see the real powers of Mr. Lordi. On his spare time Mr. Lordi is a reindeerburger joint manager in Lapland.
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| Places in Finland |
Contents |
[edit] Mr. Lordi's Power Summary
- Instant teleportation
- Feeling Non-believers
- Killing sight
- Raise undead minions
- Superhuman strength
- Invisibility
- Banishement
- Possession
- Flight
- Telepathy
- Fire Breath
- Posing
[edit] Powers Descriptions
[edit] Instant teleportation
Mr. Lordi has the ability to move instantly to any location where the percentage of non-believers is very low, with this power, he simply think to a location to move instantly there with the rest of his band and rock the hell outta everybody there. In a rare "Music Clip" someone found on a DVD carried by a headless zombie we have a demonstration of the Mr. Lordi's power on instant teleportation: He's not there... Ohh, he's there!
[edit] Feel Non-believers
This ability is quite useful when Mr. Lordi need some killing, just by looking at anybody he knows if this person is or isn't a believer. The power can also be used otherwise, it indicates instantly places where the believer percentage is low, combined with the spawn anywhere power, it can be devastating.
[edit] Killing Sight
Mr. Lordi can, only with a move of the hand and a look at people, kill them instantly, the victims fall just like if they felt asleep, but they are right dead! Another demonstration of his astonishing power is made in an amateur video made in a Finnish high school where Mr. Lordi appears in the middle on a cheerleader practice and kills them all in one second just by moving the hand.
[edit] Raise Undead Minions
This may lead to a zombie invasion, Mr. Lordi has the ability to raise dead people back to life in seconds. The same tape in a Finnish high school show the utilisation of this ability by Mr. Lordi raising the dead cheerleaders back into zombies and massacring the rest of the school.
[edit] Invisibility
Mr. Lordi can make himself and the rest of his band invisible at will, the only downside of this ability is that he can be seen through cameras or pictures.
[edit] Banishment
All people slain by Mr. Lordi are instantly transported down through the wide path... To hell.
[edit] Possession
Mr. Lordi can possess someone only by touching the person's head. After the touch, the person becomes completely under control of Mr. Lordi. they then continue to sing nonsense in finnish. >yawn<
[edit] Flight
Mr. Lordi's wings are seemingly invisible when withdrawn, but more than large enough to carry him, 5 toddlers, and a grue safely across the border.
[edit] Telepathy
Mr. Lordi used this to find the band's current keyboardist, when she tried to make contact with Ghenghis Khan's head. Luckily for her, the head was fake, and it turned out Mr. Lordi was Ghengis.
[edit] Fire Breath
This power was only caught on video once during an Arctic circle gathering. (Not to be confused with a Scarctic circle gathering.) The fire rushed over the video camera, destroying all but the tape, which was reclaimed by Mr. Lordi himself for use during the 2007 Eurovision Song Contest.
[edit] posing
mr. lordi enjoys posing-the devil finds it very attractive.
[edit] Mr. Lordi's Purpose
Since the world is heading towards new directions, new tastes and new ages, rock has been "killed" by RAP, reggae, new age, pop, and all other crap no one want to hear, prayers of those has been heard, and then Mr. Lordi appeared for one simple reason: Kill the heretics, fools and non-believers and bring them down, to hell! He will never stop, after these he will move on to those who cant cook good Finnish cuisine.
[edit] Trivia
- It is widely speculated (and accepted) that Mr. Lordi is the result of a drunken, twisted, fucked-up, cocaine-fuelled, 2girls1cup-style S&M orgy between Gene Simmons, Chewbacca and Freddie Krueger.
