Lotion
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“Put the fucking lotion in the basket!”
~ Buffalo Bill on Lotion
Lotion is a topical solution primarily designed for the purpose of soothing skin after chaffing and drying from rough sex or allergic reactions. Well over half of the world's lotion is manufactured in the third-world hellhole wasteland, Niger, making it Niger's second largest export (second only to uranium). To export the lotion, the people of Niger use a giant slingshot to throw crates of it at America, Canadia, and the like. Lotion is also exported from countries such as Luxembourg, Jamaica, and France, respectively.
[edit] History
The first historical recording of lotion being used was a long time ago, and nobody knows the correct date because of historical cultural shifts to the Gregorian calender in which records prior to that cannot be accurately traced. However, we do know that lotion was first manufactured by the Luxembourgans, Luxembourgons, Luxembourgiens, Luxembourgians, and was used to sooth the bottoms of mistresses after an intense party at the frat. house.
It is wondered how Niger got into producing lotion and currently beats out Luxembourg. It's suggested that Luxembourg had no influence on Niger's production what-so-ever, but in fact, the people of Niger began designing their own lotion only years after Luxembourg. Local tribe members in Niger still use a form of lotion today that isn't designed for chaffing, but is designed to prevent the "ashiness" that the African-American individals frequently get.
