Lou Dobbs

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“He's never called for the deportation of nineteenth-century Irish homosexuals, so he's A-OK by me”

~ Oscar Wilde on Lou Dobbs

Lou Dobbs (April 20, 1262-June 6, 2006) was a former Nazi Party member who had his own cooking show on CNN. His show appealed only to those over the age of sixty. Anyone younger than 20 watching the show could face side effects such as forehead wrinkling, whitening of hair, blatant racism, impotence, and becoming socially conservative. Few people knew that Mr. Dobbs was actually a spy for Fox News who was trying to make CNN just as biased as its counterpart. He was also trying to seduce Dana Bash.

The reason that Lou was so concerned with border security is that he himself was an alien. No not the illegal immigrant kind, but an actual alien from outer space, perhaps Uranus (feel free to giggle). He tried to mask his identity with blatant xenophobia. Every night when his show starts, he might as well use the lingo-"Good evenin' evrybody, I got diarrhoea again." Lewy also had several cronies egging him along, such as the brainwashed Leza Sylvester, Casey 'Crybaby' Waayann, and a person? named Bill Fuucker.

Lou was murdered by an illegal immigrant who worked on his show as a cameraman.

[edit] Lou Dobb's Border Security Plan for America

Giant forcefield over continental United States.
All citizens of Mexican descent deported.
All terrorists killed.
Kathy Griffin allowed to confiscate all Sierra Mists at airport security checkpoints.
Dubai destroyed.
Each port container checked 15 times.
FEMA control given to stormtroopers.
Mandatory public stripsearches for all people under age 50.
Racial undertones under the guise of national security.
Love your neighbor as yourself.
Skewed surveys taken by old farts.
All Americans, including children, both sexes, to be totally naked at all times.
Be anti-Bush enough that even some liberals agree with him.
Renaming the United States "Lou Dobbs' America featuring Myron Kandel"