Macbook Air
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Macbook Air is a cocktail of synthetic pheromones MacBooks emit into the air which render people in the vicinity of a Mac to be docile and yet insufferable towards Windows users. MacBook Air is just one of the tools Apple uses to appeal to humanity's five senses; sight, sound, touch, taste and smell. The sight and touch appeal of a Mac is achieved through its shape, color and texture. Apple has mastered the visual appeal of its machines to the point that its concupiscent customers buy anything the company makes. Additionally the appeal of sound is applied via the television commercials which have songs that very much sound like nursery rhymes, causing the viewer to associate the products with happy memories from when they were in diapers being breast fed. For the taste aspect, Apples computers have been covered with a sweet caramel like substance (Swallowing one of the keys can be a good source of calories in a survival situation). MacBook Air, the the element of smell, is the final facet in Apples portfolio of its manipulation over the five senses.
[edit] Composition and delivery of MacBook Air
MacBook Air is composed of synthetic pheromones, much like the ones floating in the atmospheres casinos and big box stores. They are delivered through the vents many assume are used to keep the computers cool, however macs keep them selves cool simply by slowly melting the container they're kept in, thus the pheromones can then be pumped out through the pseudo-"cooling vents" in the computer. Many may wonder how long the the supply of pheromones can last on the computer; most of the time Apples computers hold about a years supply of pheromones (Mac pros due to their size can hold a 3 year supply) however, the pheromones do not need to last long on the typical machine because most mac owners are rich liberals who can make enough money to buy a new machine nearly every year or six months, causing them to have a constant supply of apples chemicals pumped into them. Tough some people buy macs for good reasons other than "Apple and everything they make is the hipest coolest thing ever" so they are not affected by the chemicals for very long because they don't buy every new thing from Apple.
[edit] Criticism
Many accuse MacBook air of being too toxic, even though it meets FDA standards. MacBook air is rich in chemicals such as BFR, PVC, arsenic, and mercury. Additionally the individual pheromone particles are also said to be too large and can harm small children, as a result some say they're not micro or soft enough.
[edit] Trivia
- A bunch of obese people formed together and filed a lawsuit against Apple, stating "it's so thin and light!,how can we get our workout carrying that thing!?",they won the lawsuit and gained $888,8888 from Apple,which they spent on Twinkies
Apple Product Range
| iPods: | iPod - iPod Shuffle - iPod Mini - iPod Nano - iPod Yocto - iPod Yotta - iPod Macro - iPod Invisa - iPod mono - iPod Lo-Fi - iPod floppy - iPod chair - iPod Car - iPod IV - iPod Slim - iPod Huge - iCan't Believe It's Not iPod - Deep-fried iPod |
| iDevices: | iMac - iNuke - iRon - iMath - iHamster - iRaq - iSuicide - i - iPoop - iOwa - iRak - iRan - iEyes - iBladder - iClothes - iBrows - iRack |
| iHardware: | Cheese graters - Cast Spell Key - Applesauce - MacBook - Macbook Air - Euroipods - triPod - ehPod - YouPod - IHenge - iEarth |
| iSoftware: | iTunes - iMovie - Linux (Only For Mac) - Mac OS X - Mac OS 10.5 - Mac OS Y - Mac OS Z |
| i3rd Party Mods: | iPod Nano 200gb Instructions - üPod - phonePod - Video iPod Nano U2 HD - iTrip - Hacking the iPhone |
| iGaming: | iBox360 - iTari -General Grievous - iPodore 64 - iPodendo - iBoy |
| iLlnesses: | Neuroipods |
| iFelonies: | iFraud - Afroipods |
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Macbook Air is a cocktail of synthetic pheromones MacBooks emit into the air which render people in the vicinity of a Mac to be docile and yet insufferable towards Windows users. |
