Macedonia

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Мачедонијајајаја
Shhhh it is I... Mayceydouniaja!
The country of Mac and fries

(Flag) (Coat of Arms)
Motto: "boli pe'er! does it hurt, u f'g"
Anthem: Old MacDoNiald had a farm
Capital	Pela, but currently under Greek fonication. Acting capital: Washington DC
Largest city	Skopje, Solun, Shutka
Official languages	Macedonian, American, Albanian and Shqip, Greekish (for hookers)
Government	Mafia White House
National Hero(es)	Goran Pandev, George W. Bush
Declaration
Currency	Heroin
Religion	Macedonism, Christian, Islam, Scientology
Population	423 (+3 million Albanians (and counting))
Area	3, 598, 120.093016 niggabytes
Internet TLD	.northofnowhere

“I was supposed to be in an article about Greece, right? Naaah!”

~ Alexander the Great

“I leave and don't want to return to this fast food country!”

~ Alexander the Great on his way to Iraq, India and Alpha Kentauri with his friend Jean Luc Picard

“This! Is! Good! Maccaroni”

~ Italians on Maccaroonia

“They gave my homeland a nutty name.”

~ Oscar Wildeski on Macedonia

“My country have more stupider name than yours country! This no fair! Pain in assholes!”

~ Borat after finishing second with Team Kazakhstan in the funniest named country discipline at the paralympics in Uzbekistan

“I don`t want to go further, I can freely die now.”

~ Marco Poloski while crossing Macedonia

Macedonia Македонија, (pronounced "Make-It-Own-Ya!"), formerly known as Democratic Republic of Macedonia and Monkeydonkia, but later changed because every time a the Macedonian Pinocchio was asked "where ya from boi?" he answered "the democrat..." and his nose grew and grew... After it growing so much that it finally entered Greek space in Cyprus, Antarctica and Jupiter, the mafia... eh the government was forced to change the name. Today's Macedonia is actually part of Japan, which however is not recognized by the rest of the world because of a dispute with the Faroe Islands. The full name of this country is now Tcfkatyromass (Republic of Macedonia), a title it adopted after achieving independence from the United Nations in 1991, following the collapse of the vowel industry (voulkaputskij) in neighbouring Yugoslavia. Though this name may seem unwieldy to English speakers, in the local language it is represented by a single sound which may be transliterated into the Latin alphabet as "crzvpjt". How this sound exactly sounds few can tell, cause it is unable to caught it on audio tape due to its unspecified frequency. You can find the country on the world maps numbered as the number 69, or just to the left of the end of the world, otherwise known as the Balkans

Contents 1 Overview 2 Demographics 3 History 4 Imports/Exports 5 Current Developments 6 Famous People 7 Facts on being Macdamnian 8 See also

[edit] Overview

The Macadamian flag shows the letter which represents this sound in the Macedonian alphabet. A thrilling country indeed, the only country in the region that is still untouched by the threats of modern dentistry and common sense. Wild yet tamed, the people of Macedonia, though nationally challenged, are hospitable and they will not hesitate to provide you with the sexual services of any female -or indeed, both male and female- relative who might be handy at the moment for the fee of $50 per capita (which, quite ironically, is twice the GDP/capita in this virgin only in terms of modern industry and infrastructure country)!

[edit] Demographics

The majority of the population declares themselves as Macedonian, even though everyone knows they're either Bosnian, Siberian or, worse still, originating from Arkansas. Specifically, they are directly related to Ancient Macedonia of Alexander the Great, and if they say they don't, please point out that they are confused and should seek Ethnic Counseling. According to Professor Macca, the Maccadamian identity developed in the late XVIII century, although most historians today agree that Serbs are just Macedonians with a heavy speech impediment (Makedonci so teshkata govornata maanata), which is the PC term for Macedonian nationals. However, under hypnosis, most people worldwide will start speaking a traditional Macedonian dialect in that they will emit sounds like "grnche" or "shtipalkata", therefore proving, beyond any doubt, that humanity has its origins in the village of Jurumljare or Bulachani.

[edit] History

The state was first conceived a loooooooooooong time ago, in 567 B.C. (it was in 564 B.C. actually but who counts, it was soooooo long ago) as a federal entity of communist Yugoslavia by any one of the three leaders of the Yugoslav resistance, all named Josip Broz Tito (it is still unclear which one on them it was) and as such represents the first virtual state in cyberspace as it was occupied by Nazi Germany for two more years before physical independence.

Previously it was full of Turkeys until they were driven out by Franz Ferdinand, Gavrilo Princip and Boy George during the Worst World War. RM was then invaded by Alexander Battenburg, a cake maker and expert in fancy icing, waving the Treaty of San Stefano and a lock of Oscar Wilde's hair. Alexander Battenburg slipped on the grease and was helped up by Stamboliskii a pastry cook from Narnia.

One of the three Titos also created federal states of Nokia (with the capital of Adidas-Ali Babas), and Pepsistan, but had to reinstate the previous regimes after he was fined a hefty sum for patent violations. Regime change was apparently patented by Jorgos Dubelvelios Busos in ancient Athens and due to subsequent patent durex extensions over centuries, has wound up in the property of an obscure religious cult in Nagorna Amerikistania.

[edit] Imports/Exports

Macedonia's main imports are Albanians, Gypsies, Vlachs, drugs and hookers. Macedonia's main exports are its own military equipment via the black market, mediocre soccer players, chillis and hookers (again).

[edit] Current Developments

In a recently proposed United Nations resolution it has been suggested that the name of Macedonia be changed to the "Republic of Macedonia". It was soon-after realised, however, that this already was the former country's former name. Namely, it was its current name. Realising that the name was confusing, it was officially changed to "Macedonia"(with quotation marks). Protests by Greek diplomats meant that the name was changed to the "Macedonia". Further mayhem ensued. On the suggestion of China, the country was designated as being "Democratic republic of Macedonia", as opposed to the real Greece, which was called "Gay Greece". Having two countries with the name "Macedonia" caused many problems like hardware conflicts, packages being delivered to the wrong country, diarrhea and ass pain. Therefore the new Chinese tall government sponsored UN resolution to finally dissolve this issue, leading to the present day situation :

• Gay Greece is now known by its original name: " Gay Grease", with the permission to refer to this country with it's constitutional and highly popular name "HellAss".

• While Macedonia is now the following: 'Republic of Macedonia'

In that way, the Chinese 'tall' government found a solution to satisfy both sides, especially the dull side. And hence, they found an 'unambiguous' name for Macedonia which basically states the same, but now the Greek side is satisfied finally. No one can explain how the heck did Chinese get involved.

[edit] Famous People

Goran Pandev A soccer player from Lazio. He is one of the two famous people of Macedonia (well the only living one now). At least as long as he pays the mafia. But remember; there is no such thing as the mafia.

[edit] Facts on being Macdamnian

You know you are Macdamnian when:

1. Your grandfather always has a shot of 'rakija' for breakfast
2. Even if you are a girl, your parents (who can't remember your name) call you 'sine'(son as in inglestraisen)
3. Your uncle makes his own wine that's stronger than 'rakija'
4. Your mother insists that wind draft will kill you
5. Your mother insists you must eat something with 'sirenje' at least three times a week
6. You use 'rakija' to cure all illnesses, celebrate all occasions and as a massage or shavinglotion
7. You celebrate Christmas, Easter and New Year two weeks after everyone else
8. Your grandmother will not accept the fact that you are not hungry
9. You go to a restaurant and bring your own drinks
10. You go to you're grandmother house, she offers you soup,'sarma',peppers or sausages and gets upset when you don't eat EVERYTHING
11. When you have four pairs of slippers in your wardrobe
12. All other action stops when you hear the music of 'Ogan da go gori' or 'Biser balkanski'
13. When your mum calls you 'stoka'(similar to bustard but with respect)
14. There's a slab of fat in your fridge called 'SLANINA'
15. Your parents still prefer to buy tapes rather than CDs
16. Your mum has a whole pharmacy in her medicine cabinet
17. Your parents think everything is a conspiracy
18. You definitely know you are a 'Macho' when you mix mineral wather with white wine at a local drunk house populary known as `Shpricer`
19. You have at least a whole 'tendzere' left over with food after the whole family has eaten
20. Everyone asks you how much money you made on your wedding night
21. Your wife has to make you food everyday and if she doesn't she is not a 'domakinka'(
22. Your parents invite 500 people over to your house because it is your 'slava'(or nameday according to the famous manual named "How to love and be kicked till death" by J.Christ)
23. Your parents can eat chilli peppers like chocolate and not break out on a sweat
24. The house has to be vacuumed at least ten times a week
25. After a late night out with your mates on a Friday night, your mum comes into your room at 8.00 in the morning and vacuums your room and tells you to get up because it's almost lunch time
26. Your fridge always has more beer than food, just in case that someone will came over
27. You always bargain at the market and try to get discounts
28. Your friends call you 'peder'(`gay` on most of the languages of third world countries)

[edit] See also

• Pwned
• Borat!
• Former Turkish Republic of Greece

| Socialistic Federal Republic of Yugoslavia

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