Magic mushroom
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Were you looking like totally for shrooms dude?
“This one time, I ate mushrooms in college and said "excuse me" to a chair. I also travelled through time, but I did not become a larger form of myself with an increased ability to evade death caused by contact with fireballs, turtle shells, or spikes.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Magic Mushrooms.
A brave Italian mushroom junkie swims across burning magma to get his next fix
Mushrooms are one of the thirty essential foodgroups. Mushrooms can be found in all manner of dung filled forests and Clevelands. Mushrooms are an excellent source of something silly, and should be eaten regularly in the wild with an assortment of freshly grown leaves, maybe some cilantro. Such mushroom filled salads are a typical first course served in restaurants.
Mushrooms can often make one grow several times larger in size, though some varieties can cause one to shrink. (However, the ones that Mother gives you don't do anything at all.) Be careful to avoid poisonous mushrooms, or any that lack proper coloring and clothes. Any mushroom with a brown or grayish color sweatsuit should not be eaten.
There are many types of magic mushroom popularly consumed for their fantastic taste, such as Mexican and Venutian mushrooms. Unlike mushrooms produced by these notoriously drug-free countries, Texan mushrooms can really mess with your kneecaps. The packet will tell you to take a certain amount on your first try; however you will consume double if you are not a wimp.
Distinct from both drugs and vitamins, magic mushrooms, also known as shrooms, are a large fungus of either benign or malignant qualities that manifest in tripped out Italian wet dreams.
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[edit] The Good Kind Of Shrooms
Magical Mushrooms can be found in places where cows and buffaloes graze, heralded by rain and lightning. The person who consumes the most amount is Shawnee, it makes her believe she can fly (attemps often end up in tears). Yes lots of lightning. The good kind of magic mushrooms have the following qualities: red or green heads with white spots, eyes, and no mouths. If a magic mushroom has a mouth, it is a bad mushroom, and it is probably frowning to show people how bad it is. Good mushrooms can give the user super power, such as green mushroom resurrection. The most common type of good 'shroom is red, which is packed with steroids and increases the height of the user by 50%. For example, if Mario is 18 pixels tall, and he takes a red magic mushroom, he will instantly increase to a height of 27 pixels. Then again, if Luigi takes a red magic mushroom he will eventually break down into a fetal position and throw up while muttering incoherent chicken talk. And this is why Mario is better than Luigi in everything, except maybe being green. These mushrooms are also linked to impotency though. Why do you think Peach let Bowser capture her so many times? But the majority of shroomers experience heavy hard ons and can give a super sexual performance. Sure beats the shit out of Viagra. Smoke some weed after that and man, do you see the world in a different light/lights. If you don't like to chew it raw, get about 50 or hundred of em, put em in boiling water. Add a pinch of salt to remove its toxicity. Cover it with a lid, after half an hour when its cool, three people can have a nice trip. The trip, some reckon, is equivalent to 10 years of constant meditation. Some people claim to have a new skin growing, the old one just vanishing away. Just ask your local Shaman.
[edit] Where Do I Find The Good Kind Of Shrooms?
While some reports have attributed large colonies of magic mushrooms growing in bat guano, it is better to obtain mushrooms by banging your head against floating boxes with question marks on them, though the contents of these boxes vary. Anyhough they commonly contain stupid little coiny-thingys, hammers, or flowers that make you shoot fire from your anus, red and green varieties of magic mushrooms can sometimes be found. Shrooms can also often be found on the moon while looking for giant space cabbage. However, this method of locaiting shrooms can be deadly due to the unpredictable nature of the giant space cabbage.:indiff:[1].
[edit] The Bad Kind Of Shrooms
The bad kind of shroom is very grumpy and will make you sick and die. Jump on their heads and they will die instead. Sometimes you can take their lunch money. Doing a barrel roll would also kill them, by making the mushroom's head melt.
Occasionally, a magic mushroom will explode for no apparent reason and form a mushroom-like cloud, similar to an atom bomb detonation. For your personal safety, avoid any direct or indirect confrontation. But if confrontation is unavoidable, be prepared to charge your lazer.
[edit] The BEST Kind of Shrooms
The BEST kind of mushrooms are psilocybin-containing because they make the world go stranger than those Windows Media Player visualizations.> They are known to allow buildings to breathe, and cars to talk. One time I ate some of these shrooms and it was like... whoa... I can see my hands...
The fairy circles encountered me suddenly. The fountainhead went into my brain, and i became Howard Roark. Mr. Black told me that red was really blue and that they lied to me. Adam saw a tee shirt moving, but I think he was lying. ESP is on those plates but that chico aint got it >:O >:O
[edit] Economic Effects on Today's Economy
Today there is a huge economy behind magic mushrooms. Certain companies collect smoke from burning mushrooms and sell it as drug (officially permitted by the UN). It is said that by inhalating the smoke, one meets the god of nuclear weapons with his longtime friend Cleamatonu (a former alumnus of the FSM). Evidence shows that they are both the originators of MGM (Magic Goa Music). Some, however, believe that this is a hoax and therefore try to persuade the UN to prohibit the sales of magic mushrooms and further research in the fields of radioactivity, because - according to them - the consumption of atomar smoke causes permanent damage to neurons located in the brain's PENIS gland, due to overproduction of dimethyltryptamine (DMT).
[edit] Legality
In several coutnries, most of which i forget, but probably a lot, magic mushrooms are legal though once they were a loophole in the law. Now if you are caught with them by a cop you'll have to give them to him so he and his buddies can have a massive cop festival, feasting on the delights of the confiscated evidence locker, while you receive a light slap on the wrists. These cops are known as "Satan's Cock-Suckers". Anyway, many druggies and plumbers miss such loopholes in the law and Luigi Mario was recently arrested for possession during a short stay in the United Kingdom. Mario Mario on the other hand fled to Mexico where he resides chowing down on Mexican Psilosybe Shrooms with Yoshi.
[edit] Mushroom Head
A mid-80s haircut that was extremely popular among mothers of young boys, like Elliot's mother in ET. It is also fairly popular among Engrish teachers in Japan.
Boy gets the mushroom hair cut:
[edit] See Also
 | Chicken Soup for the Eyes |
| Baby food | Beer nuggets | Boogers | Candy | Cheese sandwiches | Condoleezza Rice | Cornbread | Hammus | French bikinis | Fried Chicken | Fudge | Goa Tse | Hairy tacos | Krispy Kreme | Mushrooms | Mangos | Paint stripper | Penis | Pudding | Orange sherbet | Rocky Mountain Oysters | Turd burgers | Spam | Tablets | Taco Bell |
Categories: Oscar Wildeizms | Food | Tasteless | Chinese Food | Drugs | Mushrooms
