Magnegro

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Black Jesus be down wit' dis sheeeet! Yo Yo Yo! Wut' it iz mutha fucka! Magnegro iz like da bomb. Fo' shizzle my nizzle! So boi wut up? Y U B frontin? I'm down wit' Magnegro like im down wit' da big G-man. U dig? If u aint I'll show U how my pimp hand is way strong. Kick yawl down 2 tha H-E-L-Lizzy. Best chickity-check yo self before you wiggity-wreck yo self, fool. Word. SOLID

A complex and enigmatic figure, Magnegro has been called a hero, an anti-hero, and a "pimpin' brotha" to the organization of superheroes known as the M-Men (Minority Men). Magnegro possesses powers over the mighty forces of fried chicken, suits with dollar signs on them, and "badonkadonk." Magnegro is currently unwelcome inside the halls of the M-Men after he formed an alliance with sworn enemy Colonel Sanders, although he still maintains an on again-off again relationship with colleagues Mystiqua and The Scarlet Bitch.

Magnegro at the VMA's, presenting the Old Spice Girls.

[edit] Appearance

Magnegro is easily recognizable by his characteristic 'fro and red-and-white pinstriped spandex suit. He also sports square sunglasses, a hat, a cane (for pimping and street fighting), and an ever-present bucket of Kentuckistan Fried Chicken. He also wears a large clock around his neck that is able to tell the current Hammertime within a fraction of a second.

[edit] Powers

Magnegro's most notable power is his ability to literally attract bootay. The exact forces involved in this reaction are highly complex, and can only be understood by quantum mechanics (the Quantum being Nissan's new make of car). The basic equation is as follows:

where S_booty represents the size of the woman's rear end, T_hammer representing the current Hammertime (only able to be told from the large timepiece around Magnegro's neck), and KFC represents Sanders's constant. Also, the relationship between A_ss and S_booty can be shown by this equation:

[edit] Current whereabouts

Although the exact location of Magnegro remains unknown, the M-Men's leader, Professor Feldschmuck speculates that he is off breakdancing and beating people with his pimpstick somewhere in Atlanta. According to the official records of the M-Men, Magnegro was last seen over the skys of Clevland flying south, the smell of fried chicken was prominet.