Magnet
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“Very few things are more attractive than I am, this is not one of them.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Magnets
Magnets are the most confusing part about science.
A magnet is a magical device that attracts other things to it. While it was once believed that God was causing this magnetic phenomenon, it is now known to be caused by a chemical reaction between electrons and quantum residue on the outside of pieces of metal called "magnets". A magnet has two poles, named "North" and "South", but don't be confused because they may really be pointing East and West. The significance of magnets in today's society is fiercely being debated, and it is believed by most scientific communities that there are no useful applications of such technology.
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[edit] History
Magnets were invented by Nikola Tesla in the mid 1800's when he tried using several different objects to stick his daughter's drawings on his refridgerator.
"First I tried a nail, but I damaged my fridge and had to get a new one. Then I tried some glue, but then I couldn't take down her old pictures. Then I tried time-varying electric flux through a loop of wire and voila! The pictures just stuck." -Tesla on inventing Magnetism
Ever since, magnets have been used across the world to hold important documents to paramagnetic surfaces like refrigerator doors and chalk-boards. Although further research into magnets is still on-going, there is little evidence of further applications of magnets to everyday life.
[edit] Properties
[edit] Physics
Magnets are the governing force that hold things together. Large magnets form easily in a vacuum, pulling matter towards them until they finally ignite to form stars. The Milky_Way, like all galaxies, is held together by a very large magnet. Larger magnets collect more matter, and so a magnet of sufficient size will draw smaller magnets in to form big swirly bands of stars. The Large and Small Magellanic Clouds are galaxies whose magnets are smaller than that possessed by our own galaxy and as such they are slowing being drawn into the Milky Way.
Because of their size, large magnets glow. It is important to note that the moon glows only with the reflected light of the sun, as the moon itself is insufficiently magnetic (see below). Stars die when the magnetic force inside them reaches a critical mass due to the absorption of smaller magnets draw in to them by their own attractive force. If this happens enough, a Black Hole is formed in which the magnetism is so great that nothing can escape.
General Relativity states that magnetism causes space-time to curve in new and interesting ways, leading to phenomena like black holes and the way that stars eventually collapse in on themselves.It is conjectured that the Big Bang was itself caused by magnets, although our own understanding of physics and magnets does not yet explain quite how that worked.
[edit] Chemistry
Tiny "magnetettes" are far more common than large magnets (which many believe to have formed from these smaller units). Each atomic nucleus contains one magneton, the elementary particle which controls the other particles and helps give each element its unique properties. Thus we can see that all of chemistry depends on magnets. The more magnetic a substance is, the more magnetons are to be found in the neutrons and protons inside it.
"Non-magnetic" substances are those whose magnetism is too weak to attract anything larger than incredibly small things that don't actually exist. The moon is "non-magnetic" and is thus held in only by the large magnet at the centre of the Earth.
[edit] Biology
Since biology is in essence just a spin-off from chemistry, it too is strongly influenced by magnets. Magnetons exist in the base pairs of DNA, orbiting each other and creating the energy that allows organisms to grow. As we grow older, our magnets slow in their movement, and so we shrink again because of the attraction of each cell to every other cell.
In humans, the red blood cells are composed largely of very small magnets. Magnets also control the release of hormones and the formation of enzymes. Our bodies have their own magnetic fields, which are in most cases in harmony with that of the Earth. However, the magnetic extremes at either of the planet's own poles can lead to disruption of this field, which is why people at the East Pole are so short and why no one can live at the West Pole.
[edit] Culture
Interesting and charismatic people attract other because they have more blood and thus more magnets. It is for this reason that we have the phrase "magnetic personality". unfortunately as these people grow older their bodies due to the extreme magnetic forces at work collapse, which is why most short old people are relatively nice.
Oscar Wilde was composed almost entirely of red blood cells. It is thought that Casanova's unusual attractiveness was caused by the regular injestion of small magnets, as his body possessed the rare ability to assimiliate these.
[edit] Computer Science
It is a well known fact that computer systems thrive when in contact with magnets. If a magnet is not attached to the computer you are currently using, please fix this immediately. Also if using a public computer system such as one at a library, make sure you notify the person in charge so that they can thank you for improving their systems.
