Today's featured article
Custom Degrees is a community charity service which exists to provide the educationally challenged with a passport to wealth and fame for rock bottom prices. It was formed by a gang of disillusioned history teachers when they realised that actual knowledge of Charlemagne's Conquest of Lombardy was never going to get them the latest Flymo with surround sound. On making the transition to the Internet, the business soon spread worldwide, with bases now in London, New York and Outer Mongolia.
Custom Degrees employ a geek team of computer cracks to ensure that you will always attain grade As or a first class honours pass, no matter what, and without any input from yourself other than cash. Should the skill of their computer hackers fail to gain access to your University's online marking system, Custom Degrees' backup team of genuine muscle will, shall we say, 'have a small chat' with your exam marker or tutor. All of which means that 99% of Custom Degree's customers gain ultra-satisfactory results. (more...)
|
Did you know...
|
- ...that violence is not the answer?
- ...I just got it wrong on purpose?
- ...that the Order of the Nazi was an order of chivalry whose admission policies were nearly impossible for anyone that was not of the Aryan race?
- ...that I keep telling Hraesvelg I, Garm, not pet, but stupid giant never listens?
- ...that Meat Loaf will do anything for love, but he won't do that?
- ...that the things you can do when you are dead include " " and ";; ";?
- ...that multiple sclerosis isn't as much fun as it sounds?
|
|
In the news
|
- Washed Up 70's Rock Band announces new album, Last Chance to Make Money Before We Die; plans to tour Country.
|
On this day...
|
May 9: International Bastards Day, Serbia and Ring Around the Bathtub Day, United States
 - 1010 - Vikings celebrate the surise by declaring the new day, May 9th!
- 1247 - Dark Ages Peasants harness the power of marijuana, beginning the era called "The Stoned Age".
- 1429 - Joan of Arc entertains the English troops with a medley of show-songs from Bedknobs & Broomsticks.
- 1627 - Edict passed in Switzerland requiring all lawyers to deliver evidence by yodelling.
- 1671 - Pope Clement X is killed by the Queen's Guard while on a visit to England, being mistaken for the guy who stole the crown jewels in a pope costume. Bono is elected as the new pope soon afterwards.
- 1934 - Anteaters formally name themselves the Aardvark, to get the lucrative first spot in taxonomy classifications.
- 1949 - Abdication of the last Empress of China, Nang-Tse Sinatra.
- 1974 - Novelty plastic musical Bowel Movements introduced to Japan.
- 1989 - George W. Bush is abducted by alien invaders in an alternate universe
- 1991 - Small, Medium, and Large complain to the United Nations, that Extra Large is abusing its position. The UN introduce sanctions, however these are withdrawn when it becomes known that size does not matter.
- 2006 - MySpace suicides go up 50%
- 2007 - At 11:59:58 PM (GMT) May 9th pledges to arise again, one year hence!
|
|
