Manners
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Manners: Government conspiracy, use to form all of the world into brainwashed "members of society." Generally thought to be polite actions which bring happiness to the recievee, and respect to the giver.
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[edit] Manners, where did they come from?
Manners formed deep in the crust of the earth, a combination of antimatter and bodily gases. Can be found in: Most parents; your dog; your cat; .3% of television shows; government trained workers, and socialist bastards.
[edit] Using "Manners"
Manners are generally learned by chemical altering or roughly 13 years of intense training. They can be used in almost every environment: Dinner, houses, outdoors, interviews, Spec Op missions, terrorist attacks and greetings. The most simple task on your road to manners is the word "Hello." It indicates respect and acknowledgement. When you are more advanced, around a level 6 Manner Apprentice, you will learn the word "Good bye," which are usually used when escorting a guest from the premises, killing someone execution style, or on a deathbed. (In my personal opinion, this form of manners is completely useless, as in all 3 examples, you will never see the person again.) As you progress in the Majesty of Manners (MoM) you will learn even more painstaking, pride killing terms. E.g: Have a nice day, thank you, please die and where's the bathroom.
[edit] Why use manners?
Despite the fact that using manners will cause sever pain and be possibly fatal, it does have (I use this term loosely) benefits:
- Make new friends
- Kill old friends
- Decrease your chances of being slowly killed by 14%
- Increase your chances of being painlessly killed by 23%
- Sarcastic manners (learned at level 40) are EXTREMELY funny
[edit] Exceptions of When to use Manners
Even though manners are very polite and often bring untold of riches, there are exceptions as to when manners are not completely necessary. I took the liberty of giving you a few examples:
- Mortal Kombat
- Life/death situations
- When you're pissed at your mother
- When you don't feel like it
- When trying to sound mean
- When you are trying to sound nerdy by using 1337 speak
[edit] Top 5 Most Unmannered Things
1. Hitler - Geez, at least say "Please" when trying to invade others.
2. Tacos - A dangerous Mexican food with no priorites.
3. Wikipedia - C'mon a little harsh on sites eh?
4. Bill Gates - Did he EVER say "Thank you" to the customers?!?!?
5. Micheal Jackson - Talk about being offended by yourself.
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