Maria Curie
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Maria "Skłodowska" Curie
[edit] Marie "Madame" Curie
"Madame" Curie was the Polish owner of a "House of ill repute" that inadvertently discovered radiation and the radioactive power rod.
EARLY YEARS
Marie Curie was the youngest of five children: Argon (b. 1862), Radon (b. 1865), Fluorine (b. 1863) and Astatine(b. 1867). Her parents knew she was a "bright" child at an early age because of "glowing" reports from her teachers. This intensity and power she had got her through many a hard Polish winters. She was also known to work very hard and go sometimes days without sleep or food prompting her family to brag that she had an unseen power in her and could probably go for hundreds of years without being spent.
ADOLESCENCE
Marie Curie traveled to France to study and this is where she met and fell in love with her soon to be husband, Bruce Banner. Bruce was a smart young man, well on his way to becoming a physicist. He would later discover the "Gamma Ray" (often confused with the "Billy Ray") which ultimately led to the couples' discovery. Marie studied hard and worked harder, but she just couldn't make ends meet, so she took up residence in the red light district of Paris and made a small fortune and many friends with her "co-workers". They banded together and bought a house in which their small "business" thrived.
PRIMING THE PUMP OF DISCOVERY
Marie had a problem though. She had a hard time keeping her pump primed, as it were. Upon speaking with her co-workers, she found that they had the same problem also, so she set out to find a solution. She knew the answer lay in self pleasure, but since she was arthritic from an early age, digital dexterity was out of the question. She needed a device that could provide pleasure, be hand held and have it's own power source. Since General Electric (a four star American general)had just invented what he called the "Electric" motor a year earlier, she decided that the motor would be a prefect component to start with. She also decided (for reasons that this author won't go into detail here) that the housing of this device should be about 7 inches long, 3 in. in diameter and in the shape of a tube with a smooth, tapered end. A miniature version of General Electric's motor was fitted with a slightly off balanced wheel to vibrate slightly and set inside the tube. Now all she needed was a power source.
SHE BLINDED ME WITH SCIENCE!
This is when Marie met Bruce. Bruce was frustrated by getting nowhere in his rather dangerous experiments and sought relief from the day's toil. Little did he know that his experiments with certain elements had dosed his body with (as yet undiscovered) radiation. He stumbled upon Marie's house and the two fell madly in love. She spoke to him about needing a power source for her device and her wishes to be a physicist also. He was amazed at the amount of life in this woman and her undefinable "glow". They made love and afterward, the talked more about her "device". She said the power source had to be small and compact, yet be very powerful and last a long time. That's when the two first noticed it. The bed had a strange warmth to it. They pulled the sheets back and lo and behold, the wet spot where they consummated their love was hot to the touch! Bruce's inadvertent radiation poisoning and Marie's natural radiation had produced a radioactive (ahem) substance that produced heat! They took a sample to his lab for analysis. They had no actual way to measure the "heat" that was coming off the substance, and Bruce was at his wits' end, so he called up his good friend and fellow scientist, H.R. Giger to see if he had any ideas. Giger had mentioned that he had just invented a measuring device, but couldn't for the life of him figure out what it should measure. Bruce suggested Giger bring it over and try it on this substance he had at his lab, and Giger agreed to. Amazingly, the device measured the substance and thus the "Giger Counter" was born. They racked their brains to find a name for this "heat" phenomena and a month later, Marie found out she was pregnant. Eight more months went by and finally she had the baby. It was a boy, and they named him Ray. That's when it hit her: She would call the "heat" phenomena "raydiation".
GLOWING SUCCESS
So in the end, Marie and Bruce encased the substance in a small metal tube and created the world's first radioactive fuel rod, which in turn powered her vibrating device. She sold millions of the devices in her time and her son was heir to he family fortune. Ray remained the "Ray" in Raydiation for quite a number of years, but since he was pretty much a neer-do-well and layabout, he was quickly forgotten and the y was dropped from the word.
Interesting side note: H.R. Giger's "counter" Could also count how many creepy monochromatic paintings were within 20 feet of it. --Xister 14:56, 25 September 2007 (UTC)
