Marilyn Manson
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“I'm sorry, but I'm just not feeling your anger ...”
~ God on Marilyn Manson
“Marilyn Manson is easily the best artist that ever lived.”
- ~ Marilyn Manson on Marilyn Manson
Marilyn Manson (AKA 'Merlin Manzin','Monkey Insults', 'Marylin Manson','Charlie White', and 'Him With The Wacky Eye'), born on Christmas Day 2AD, is a well-known musician, artist, actor, film director and anything else he decides to be on a whim.
Best known for his 1996 cheesy pop album 'Antichrist Superstar', Manson now divides his time between drinking absinthe and taping himself having sex with a 19 year old girl cause no one more than 27 will do it with him.
He currently resides in Milton Keynes, England.
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[edit] Biography
Marilyn Manson is older than God. Marilyn Manson is having "anything but casual" sex with Jelena. Marilyn Manson is a sexy mofo.
[edit] Early Life
Born in my overly sized ape pussy, Manson was raised in a monastery by a group of Catholic priest. Although those who knew him during childhood describe his upbringing as 'idyllic and privileged', Manson has hinted at exposure to violence, intense homosexual behaviour mainly because he didn't get the sex toy (vibrator) he wanted for Christmas when he was 5. The intense homosexual behavior was caused by catholic priests raping him.
At the age of 12, Manson was asked to leave the monastery following a series of incidents including the sexual harassment of a nun, the inversion of every crucifix in the monastery and the pilfering of christmas cookies from the kitchen.
[edit] Education
Following his expulsion from the monastery in Ohio, Manson was enrolled in a public school in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. Although initially pleased to leave behind the 'stupid head religious doo doo brains', Manson soon found his new classmates to be unaccepting of his mode of dress - a rebellious ripped cassock - and profane Gregorian chants. This served to further his hatred of religion and people in general, and Manson used his time in class to hatch elaborate plans for revenge (it would not be until 20 years later that the concept of shooting one's classmates for vague revenge would emerge).
Manson left school with no qualifications except the lowest one of all: the qualifications of a rock and roll journalist. Which the professor whom he was assigned thought it would be funny to give him the wrong material to study.
[edit] Career
[edit] Early Career
Prior to and during the formation of the band, Manson had a job as journalist interviewing musicians for a small college newspaper. He is described as having shown great promise, 'would he not scrap the interview and start talking about himself halfway through the article. '
A point of interest is that a lot of Manson's success since has been alleged to be down to help given by the newspaper's editor. However, the only person to allege this is the editor herself, and it is widely regarded as bullshit.
[edit] Musical Career
[edit] Marilyn Manson and The Spooky Kids
The initial incarnation of what would be 'Marilyn Manson' the band involved a group of 5 college students and unemployed stoners: Marilyn Manson, Brian Bunting, Ned Schneeblee, Quentin Winbuck and Malcolm Flynn. At this early stage, none of the band could play an instrument, so they resorted to wild onstage antics including sex with blow-up dolls and throwing poultry.
The band's name was quickly changed from 'Marilyn Manson And The Spooky Kids' to just 'Marilyn Manson' following a tantrum of epic proportions by Manson, who complained that the name did not focus enough on 'me me MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!'. He also forced the bassist to change his name to Twiggy Ramirez.
[edit] Albums
Picture of an Uzbekistani family
- De-crude (Road Trip to Hell)
- Truffles and Porn
- Dinnercase
- Intestine Destroyer
- One-eyed dude
- Marijuana Cap
- Grab a Rrifle
- Covered in Present Wrapping
- Cat-ia
- Meat Goof
- Black Eyes and Pussies
- Some Guy's Gorilla
- Depression in a Box
Scents of Middle-Aged Lawyers
- The Feet of Dead zombies
- Journal of a Drug Enemy
- Finger Lickin' Wang Clang
- Children Chopping Machine
- Apathy for People Never There for their Kids
- Cover of some shit from Annie Lennox
- Suck My Dick Forever
- Dildo Dan
- What will Jay Hawkins Think of this?
- Might Make your Piss Different
- Stabs, Nuns, and Some Good, sticky shit
- Stop using dope in the song titles
- Black Garbage
- Limping with 14-Legged...
- Hip-Hop Cracker
Chanty Mice, Former Child Star
- I'm Not Responsible for the Nazi Chant
- The Ugly Hags
- Fried Up, Cooked and Ready to serve
- Forni-cay(te)?
- Big Dick
- Cryptic title
- Ugly X-Rated Stuff
- Insect girl
- Mrs. Former Child Star
- Devil With No Horns
- Nicer Field
- Fancy Dice Koopa Car
- 30 AD
- Hour of Biodegration
- Satan Laughing at Your Reflection, 'cause You're Ugly
- Woman That Scares the Shit Out of Everyone
99. Song that skips 17 through 98
Machine-made Transexuals
- Small World of Blacks, Asians, Etc.
- NO FUCKING DOPE IN THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!!
- Title
- Emo music is Next on the Hit List
- Miss Ass O. Citation
- How Fast Does it Hurt?
- Dead (Posthumous)
- We Want You to Die
- I Hate Heroin (But I Keep Injecting it Into My Body)
- Old-timer Skinny Skank No. 124
- Not for Computer Geeks
- Basically Hated By All
- First Day of the Rest of Your Life (Cliche!)
- Vanna White
Holly and Her Woods (On the Corner of Shadow and Death Valley)
- Devil Bite Itself
- Song to Listen to While Fucking Someone
- Song to Listen to While Hurting Someone
- Recyclable Adults
- I Need These People to Hear This Shit (Narcotics)
- Bush Died!!! Everyone Celebrate!!
- Shadow, Death Valley, CA
- Jesus on Good Friday on Jupiter
- Six Feet Under (Just for You)
- Somebody
- Song to Listen to While Killing Someone
- Jesus' Alter Ego
- Resurrection Again and Again
- Desecrating the USA flag
- Pat Sajak (Prequel to Vanna White)
- Love You Hate You
- First Man of the Earth is Gonna Die
- King Kong (1933 Version)
- 123456...OH SHIT!!!!! We're Dead! (Sucked in Space's Vacuum)
The Bronze Age of Disgusting
- THEATER, YOU STUPIDHEAD! IT'S THEATER!
- That Was the Old crap
- rOB JEAN
- Mall-Shagga Fuck-Fuck Clickety-Clack
- Take Your Foot and Put it in the Place I don't Wanna Hear (Mouth)
- Bronze Age of blah blah blah
- (p)AINT
- (insert bomb sounds here)
- Whore Greenhouse
- Shape of Heart
- Pair-a-noir socks
- The Dark Elderly Objects
- Worse of the Best
- Jo Devil
- Mockery (How to Die)
Bite Me, Fuck Me
- How Long Before I Suck Your Blood
- Placing Bullet Wounds in the Sun(shine)
- Hollywood Style Death
- And You Thought That Hell Couldn't Freeze Over
- Your "Accident" is Around the Corner
- Club-Shaped Presription Sunglasses (When My Kidney Leads the Intestine)
- Clues or Something
- Where the Fuck is that Fucking White rabbit?
- Mutiny is the Best Way to Get Rid of Enemies
- You, Me and Dupree Make 53
- Date Me, Dump Me
[edit] Marilyn Manson
With Manson pacified and sullenly sucking on a lollipop, the band could now focus on honing their sound and releasing their first studio album, 'Portrait Of An American Family'. Manson's influences can be strongly heard on the album, which include 'Scooby Doo' and ' Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory'. However, the band would not gain great popularity until 2 years later.
Around this time, the satisfaction from 'Portrait' and the subsequent blot-on-the-landscape 'Smells Like Children' was beginning to wear off, and Manson sunk into deep depression. Manson also attributes his self-harm and general gloominess to a series of personal misfortunes, including not being able to paint his living room the colour he wanted and being attacked for stealing a bandmate's whisky. Out of this dark period came an equally dark, hateful and oh-so-provocative album, and the band's popularity began to rise. The album title, 'Antichrist Superstar', unsurprisingly attracted the attention of would-be Christian protestors, although most of the band's controversy was generated by Manson's 'horrifyingly satanic' dicky contact lense.
Following 'Antichrist Superstar', Manson donned an androgynous alien get-up for the album 'Mechanical Animals'. Initially dismissed by hardcore fans as being 'pussy-ass gentle shit', 'Mechanical Animals' is now widely regarded by fans as being 'the best album ever ever EVER so emotional and sublime and oh my God look at his ass in that catsuit!'
Subsequently released to slowly waning popularity were 'Holywood', 'The Golden Age Of Grotesque' and 'Eat Me, Drink Whatever Who Cares'.
[edit] Relationships
Manson was in a 3-year relationship with actress Rose McGowan before the couple split in 2000, with Manson claiming that she 'broke [his] heart and cock.' and Rose refusing to leave his house and stealing the fridge. He has also in the past talked about having trust issues stemming from several hurtful relationships early in his life. He married local male stripper Dita Von Teese in 2005, before cheating on her with teen actress Evan 'Omigod!' Wood.
Manson aslo had a 2 week relationship with a chick named Morgan. She was once a bearded-lady at a world famous carnival, but was kicked out when they found out she was actually a man and that her beard was actually just pubic hair, collected from the Port-O-Poties at the local construction site. Manson loved her/him, but they never actually had sex, prefering to lick salty cheese off of eachother's assholes. Since they both never wiped their asses, the relationship fell apart, Manson spent the rest of the year crying and eating insulation out of his attic (thinking it was cotton-candy) while Morgan ran off to her former lover and highly respected butler, Master Bates of the Whacking Hoff Manor in Virginia.
[edit] Trivia
- Many interesting facts have been discovered about Manson. These include: Manson has had his ribs removed, Manson eats children, Manson has more chins than a Chinese phone book, Manson is a spoiled middle-class kid who lived off an allowance from his parents until he wrote an album about how gay he is.
- In 1998, Manson was found roaming a back alley in Akron Ohio, ass naked and covered in peanut butter. When confronted by by a local police officer, Manson responded by doing the YMCA with his legs, then got down and started break dancing, all the while shouting "SHAMU, SHAMU", before quickly disappearing into the night
- In 2000, Manson was arrested for climbing onto a security guard, demanding a piggyback ride around the building and then forcing his genitalia up the guard's nose. The charges were later dropped when semen stains indicating enjoyment were found in the security guard's underpants.
- In 2002, Manson dressed as a woman with sagging breasts and shoplifted a carton of Virginia Light cigarettes from a small convenience store. Manson was made to pay for the cigarettes and was given a 2-week ban from the store.
- Manson is in the Guinness Book Of World Records for the longest incoherent answer ever given to an interview question. When asked by fansite The Heiro-cunt what he'd been up to since 2001, he responded with a bewildering 1985-word answer involving but not limited to his desire to 'live in a world that doesn't really exist'.
- In August of 2043, Manson was seen butt raping a Mc. Donalds sign near your mom's house, all the while dressed in a Florida Gators mascot suit carrying an Olympic torch, when again confronted and questioned by authorities, he replied in an Italian accent "OI gotta live man", and escaped the officers clutches running headfirst into the Mc. Donalds and going to Hell, then he died.
- Marilyn Manson was convicted in 2005 of conspiracy to breed kittens for the express purpose of huffing them, and of advertising the pleasures of a foot-job (the case remains open, as all the kittens that were the only evidence went mysteriously missing, presumed huffed).
[edit] See Also
The thing about the ribs isn't true
