Marion

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“Anyone who lives within Marion suffers from an extreme case of constipation.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Marion

“If i could destroy one town this would be it.”

~ Satan on Marion

“This town is a little bit better than concentration camps i guess.”

~ Jews on Marion

Village of Marion


(Flag of <incert town name here>)	(Satan appointing the Mayor)

Motto: "We don't like wearing our pants."

Village Anthem: Eye of the Tiger

Official Language

English

Town Hall

A giant castle dedicated to their lord God

Mayor

Jesus

Town Heros

God, Michael Jackson, you, and that guy,

Independence from old God

May 5th, 1765

Currency

Chickens and goats

Religion

satanism/Burger King

No. 1 Export

Frosted Flakes

No. 1 Import

Penises

1 History
2 Geography
3 Land Marks
4 Culture & Religion
5 Fat Food Riot of '97
6 Etymology
7 Possible Future
8 "Don't Look At It!"
9 Facts

[edit] History

This small ~~Michigan~~ ~~Illinois~~ ~~Indiana~~ ~~Michigan~~ Illinois town was founded by a tribe of native Americans in 1601 that were running away from bears. They were sadly enslaved by the bears and raised to be eaten like cattle. The Bears were plotting to take control of the planet, but 30 brave tigers fought the bears and stopped them. The bears had no time to round up the humans. The Humans asked how they could repay the tigers for saving them, so the tigers had them make their delicious Flakes. The humans made the flakes until 1776 when Uncle Sam gave the tigers machines to make the flakes.

It was 1777 when a small tiger named Tony was born. He changed the tiger and human world forever. He realized at a young age that the people were getting very fat. He decided to make an exercise program for them. The program was not good though, it was GRRRRREAT!! Tony was bored with his village life so moved to Newcastle in the north of England with his parents. The people of the town no longer had anyone them to motivate them to stay on their work out schedule after Tony left.

They people became Morbidly Obese monsters who feed on the delicious flakes of the tigers. The town has been pretty much the same there to this day. Except for one day in 1822 when a wizard decided to mate with a frog, you would think that their offspring would be a sick freak of nature. It was not, the offspring became the greatest Jedi master of all time, Yoda. The town is also a popular vacation area for Uncle Sam. Yoda trained every Tiger and human in the ways of the Jedi, so if the Bears ever come back they can defend themselves

[edit] Geography

The town lies inside of a dormant volcano. It used to be covered in the feces of bears but was cleaned up by the tigers. It is now covered with all sorts of patriotic material to impress Uncle Sam.

patriotic material that impresses Uncle Sam

[edit] Land Marks

In the middle of town there is a statue of Tony the Tiger
There is a decapatated Bear statue at the town dump
Yoda made his first Jedi training camp there
The worlds largest Litter Box is there and is still in use by the tigers
From Space the town looks like the founding fathers signing the Declaration of Independence

[edit] Culture & Religion

Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Santa Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Santa Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Stalin Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satin Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Stan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan Satan

[edit] Fat Food Riot of '97

The day of the riot

It was a calm day in Marion in August of 1997. The people, as you know are morbidly obese monsters ran out of food. That is the WORST thing that could ever happen to a town that thrives on food. The people had never been in situation like this before. One man yelled "RIOT!!!", so thats what happened. In a hungry-anger they stormed the town McDonalds, they came to find out there was no food in there either. The angry people had never been so hungry in their fat lives. They riot turned into violence. Their rampage through the town killed three people, the people caused $76,000 worth of damage to the buildings and other things in the town. The mayor (George W. Bush), vowed to never let the towns food supply run out.

Since that sad day the mayor had kept his promise. He bought Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch trees. He planted one in every families back yard. After he remembered they are fat people he had them moved into their homes. The people rejoyced, they re-elected George W Bush for the next 5 terms.

[edit] Etymology

Mar·i·on has its roots both in Klingon "ion" and a word added to the english language by Oscar Wilde "mar". "ion" is an idiomatic abbreviation for "I on aboud to whoop dat ass". "mar" in the words of Wilde, "to fail miserably or F*ck up real bad". The name Marion was coined after the mayor of a local tribe of pre-Marionites failed to live up to his claim, "If I had just one good swing at that Lincoln fellow, I'd show him what for!" Note: this origin is disputed. Some sources indicate the name was the product of a drinking contest.

[edit] Possible Future

The Bears may come back to take the town over
The Burger King may team up with Ronald McDonald to make the people fat once again
The humans may decide to use their Jedi training to take out all of the tigers
SATAN WILL TAKE CONTROL OF EVERYTHING

[edit] "Don't Look At It!"

Close your eyes, don't look at it! Close your eyes, don't look at it! Close your eyes, don't look at it! Close your eyes, don't look at it! Close your eyes, don't look at it! Close your eyes, don't look at it! Close your eyes, don't look at it! Close your eyes, don't look at it! Close your eyes, don't look at it! Close your eyes, don't look at it! Close your eyes, don't look at it! Close your eyes, don't look at it! Close your eyes, don't look at it! Close your eyes, don't look at it! Close your eyes, don't look at it! Close your eyes, don't look at it! Close your eyes, don't look at it! Close your eyes, don't look at it! Close your eyes, don't look at it! Close your eyes, don't look at it! Close your eyes, don't look at it! Close your eyes, don't look at it!

[edit] Facts


	The first person to kill all the sinners in this town automatically goes to heaven (entry to heaven not guarented)
Now don't forget to eat my body and drink my blood on Sunday, little ones! ;)

Was home to the first Pizza Hut in America
Is currently home to 3 retired Ghostbusters
Birth place to Yoda and Tony the Tiger
George W Bush flew over this town
Pizza was invented in this town
It is Uncle Sams vacation area along with Jesus.
Meth labs are found in every home
Jesus helped Yoda invent Lightsabers here
Scooby and the gang solved their first 12 mysteries here.
She was a pretty girl: Young, soft, with red hair, the greenest eyes I would ever see. I took her maidenhead, as she lay in the back of my pickup. She made sighing sounds when she came, her eyes never left mine the whole time. Ah, the Summer of '58, a summer neither of us would ever forget, marked in my memory by the smell of honeysuckle in the air, and watching that red-head bitch walk home, bowlegged.