Mark David Chapman

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“I meant to hit Yoko! This is a terrible mistake!”

~ Mark David Chapman

As you can see, Mark David Chapman was a fat ass and thoroughly enjoyed a bag of Doritos. He was also a fan of wearing gay ass aviator glasses.

Mark David Chapman (1955-1992) (Often called "David Crapman" ) was a sick son of a bitch who tried to kill John Lennon, a former member of The Beatles. Chapman is hated by many people and was named Time Magazine's "Biggest Shithead Of The Year" in 1984. Although he is hated by so many, he is still influential because without him, the Church would have no one to be against.

[edit] Assassination Attempt On John Lennon (AS IF!!!)

John was outside a motel he was staying at when Chapman asked for his autograph, Lennon complied. Then, later that day on December 8, 1980, Lennon returned from the studio and exited his limo with his wife, Yoko Ono. Chapman then called out "Mr. Lennon?" and John turned around. Chapman then fired like a billion shots at John, or was it five? Whatever, I forget, he somehow managed to miss Yoko, though. Then, John was all like, "What the fuck, you ass wipe?". Lennon then proceeded to pull out his own shotgun and blew the fuckers god damned brains out. Chapman then fell to the ground like the fat ass mommas boy he was, saying "Ouch!". John had no major wounds and lived forever, since he's loved by everybody.

[edit] Later Attempts At Murder And Death

Then, in 1984, Chapman tried to assassinate Paul McCartney but found out he had been dead for 20 some years. So then, he tried to kill George Harrison but George was trained in the martial arts of Hare Krishna and totally whipped his sorry ass, despite being, like, 100 years old. Chapman, being the fat ass he was, decided to then read some awesome book called "The Catcher in the Rye" and waited to be arrested. Sadly, nobody gave a damn about him. So he lived in a cave in Wyoming for the rest of his life alone and depressed. Then, in 1992, Chapman gave up and died, just like that! I mean, what kind of pussy just "dies"? He didn't even shoot himself or anything, he just said "Fuck it, FUCK IT!" and *bamf!*, he was dead! Pussy.