Mark Hoppus
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Markus Rebecca Hoppus (known as God to nobody) was born on March 15, 1972 from his Dad's urethra. His mom was killed in a horrible event that nobody knows about except Mark (he was still in the womb).The last words his mother said to his father were "Take care of Mark". Mark's father decided this meant ripping Unborn Fetus Mark from the womb and shoving him into his urethra. Since the food is bad in a urethra, Mark was a very slow grower. Instead of about 9 months in the womb, Mark was in his dads dick for 1 year 8 months and 2 days ( it was later found out that he was 44 seconds overdue, hence the name of his current band, +44). Mark is also the sole benefactor from the 'Shave Marks Balls' Program owned by Blink-182
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[edit] Mark in Blink 182
In 1992, Mark Met Tom Delonge at a skate park. Tom instantly got hard at the thought of working with guys. Mark needed a band, and Tom agreed to form one with him if he did something to turn him on. Knowing that Tom was into BDSM, he deliberately broke both of his ankles to impress him. It did. So they got some random off the street and created blink 182. it was successful for a while, until Tom got way too hard, and suddenly jacked off and quit blink 182 and created shitty band now known as: Angels and Airwaves
[edit] Mark in +44
Mark Hoppus is the bass player still, he found out that bass is easier than guitar if you suck at both. Barker still plays killa drums. The lead guitarist, Shane Gallagher, sucks at playing lead guitar, and the back-up guitar/vocalist, Craig Fairbaugh, sucks at singing like Delonge. While the band was trying to figure out a name after they smacked that ho out of the band, Hoppus recalled that he was 44 seconds overdue at birth. They thought of making their new band name 182 + 44, but the Angels told them that 182 is a copyrighted number and nobody can even use it for math. That caused some problems when they found element #182 and could not name it. This resulted in the destruction of said element,causing such a massive explosion that the Angels and Airwaves were pushed farther into space. Therefore they dropped the 182 and thought that a band with just a random number would be gay so they kept the +, creating +44. They recorded in the summer of 2006 and produced an album for the fall called "When Your Heart Stops Beating", which is actually about a psycho stalker boyfriend who kills his ex. Probably. When fans of music responded to Hoppus that his music still sucks, he responded by turning completely emo and writing a song called "No it Isn't", it is about how Hoppus killed Delonge, and how he slits his wrists thinking about it. The band plans on having special guests do backup singing and their next album cover has a picture of Oscar Wilde's wide open asshole.
[edit] Mark with other bands
Hoppus helped other bands by writing shitty songs for them, singing shitty back-up vocals for them, and even managing them. Popular punk band MXPX features Hoppus singing back-up on a song Mark wrote on their second newest album "Panic". He also helped the ever popular band Motion City Soundtrack with their song "Everything is Alright" which was wrote to soothe Gerard Way 's emotional problems in "I'm Not F$!&*&$ Okay!!!". Mark also wrote songs for the new Fall Out Boy album mainly because he liked the look of Pete Wentz's dick.
[edit] Mark in space
In the year 2031, Mark will fly out to space to meet his Angels and Airwaves, at which time he will save the universe by brutally murdering Tom Delonge
[edit] Mark outside of music
Mark is very good at doing things that are faggy and dont have to do with dancing around with his shitty pink bass. Some times he does voice acting and pretends he is Satan and touches male children, like his idol, Michael Jackson. Mark Hoppus also is best friends with Oscar Wilde, Michael Jackson, and George Bush (fag). He is very interested in micropolitics and anal sex. Hoppus, in an interveiw with horny gay man[1], said that he often rides horses and walks on the beach. He also owns a unicorn farm and has admitted to sleeping with a hobo that he met at a bus station on his podcast which no-one cares about. He has also invented the Wipesaddle,"a saddle that sits on a sawhorse in your bathroom with a roll of toilet paper on it". No one has licensed this idea yet. The bidding war continues.
