Mars Bar
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How They Make The Mars Bar (the chocolate bar, not the place where martians go and get stoned).
Contents |
[edit] Principal Ingredients
[edit] Milk
Milk (pronounced: Meal – kay): To create the Mars Bar they first needed to breed the sheep then, get the wool from the sheep make it into socks then, give the socks to the farmers then the farmers breed the cows and grow the grass so the cows can produce milk to ultimately create a Mars
[edit] Sugar
Sugar (pronounced: sue – gay – are): God needed to create water. Then he had to create the sugar bird. They then mass breed the sugar bird. Then they mass murder all the sugar birds so that they can get it for the Mars Bars.
[edit] Cocoa
Cocoa (pronounced koe – koe): With the cocoa…... They get cocoa alpacas that have cocoa as wool. Then twice a year they shed the cocoa off the alpacas then they are one step closer to creating the Mars Bar.
[edit] Artifical flavour
Artificial (pronounced: are – tee – fea – see - keal) flavour(pronounced: Flay – vou – re): They get a special type of ass and then get a special type of weasel, that not many people have seen. Then, the two breeds of animals, stuff them full of Viagra then make them make lots of babies. When the babies come out they use: fur, urine, saliva, meat, intestines etc… to make the artificial flavouring.
[edit] Wheat Flavour
Wheat Flavour (pronounced wee - h – eat): All they do is get a plant called flavour then put it in a large contraption called a hopper. It grinds it up then out comes a powder and its still called flavour so not much has changed except it looks like cocaine. And that’s called wheat flavour.
[edit] Dried egg white
Dried egg white (pronounced: Drey – ed – ey – guh – guh – weh – eye – teh) They get and egg, then they crack it open and spill it. They get Jackie Chan with his awesome reflexes to only grab the white mid air while it’s falling. Then they stick the white of the egg and blow on it until it is all dried up.
[edit] Salt
Salt (pronounced sole-et): First you get a thing able to hold particles of salt, then you put the salt in it, then shake it out and that’s called salt, put it in a box after getting it from the container then send to ‘Mars Bar’.
[edit] Hydrogenated Soybean
Hydrogenated (pronounced: High – drow – jen – eight - ed) Soybean (pronounced: So – why – bee – aen): How the makers of ‘Mars Bar’ got this product I have no flipping idea.
[edit] Palm Oil Sodium Bicarbonate
Palm oil sodium (pronounced: so - dea – ey – umm) Bicarbonate (pronounced bye – car! – bone – ate)
What this is, is they get athletes around 1 million or so then get them all go for a long tiring run, when they get back they all sweaty so they get the sweat from their hands, that’s the palm oil, Sodium Bicarbonate doesn’t actually exist they just put those 2 words on so its sounds better.
[edit] Soy lecithin
Soy lecithin (pronounced ‘don’t actually know I just made it up’: so – why – leckey – itz – theeny): Soy, the asian word for sauce. Now Lecithin what this is… is… I know what it is, its.. errr deg aglet kepla… RUUUN!!!!!
[edit] Hydrolysed soy protein
Hydrolysed ((by the way they spelt it wrong ‘I’ before ‘E’) anyway it’s pronounced: Hiy! – Drew – Oel – eye – said)
Soy (Info: again with the asians) Oh My God!! The big words again, hydrolysed isn’t really a word they put it in cause protein by itself sounds insignificant and crap.
Protein (pronounced: Pee – row – tea – eannyie) This is just protein. You know, the sport: ‘Tein’ they just get pro’s at that, chop em up and chuck em in. and that’s the final ingredient in making ‘Mars Bar’s!
Have fun making your own. (Note: No machinery needed only a Hopper and a really sharp knife)
Stick all the ingredients and you get ‘Mars Bar’s! Enjoy getting your friends to believe you on how you think they are made.
