Mass (church)
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Mass is a game invented by the Catholic Church to make going to church more exciting. Mass tournaments are held every four years in the Great Mass Hall in Vatican City.
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[edit] Gameplay
The basic concept of Mass is simple. A "Priest" (which is derived from a latin word meaning "game master") must be present at all games. The players are divided into two teams, the "Left Aisle" and "Right Aisle."
The Priest begins to read a random passage from the Book of Infinite faBLEs, or "BIBLE" for short. The point of the passage is to distract the players from the game. Players must avoid getting interested in the topic at hand or they risk getting out. Randomly during passages, the Priest will indicate whether to sit, stand, kneel, or handstand with a motion of his hand. All players must immediately perform the action requested.
A team gets one point for every player that successfully does the requested action. An incorrect action or failing to move costs your team one point. A player has until the Priest reads the fourth word in the passage after he makes the hand motion to change position. Games generally last one hour unless the game goes into overtime.
[edit] Elimination of Players
Players are eliminated by additional cues from the Priest. These cues include hand motions as well as spoken memorized phrases. Failure to do the indicated hand motion or a mistake in the spoken phrase gives a player one strike. Three strikes and a player is out of the game for good. If a team runs out of players, the team automatically loses.
[edit] Rules
There are many rules to the game of Mass. Breaking rules results in a penalty based on the rule broken. A few examples of the rules follow. There are currently (as of August 27th, 2006) 2,543 rules.
- Rule #54 - Only pants can be worn to play Mass. Wearing shorts suffers the wearer the penalty of having their legs cut off at the knee.
- Rule #93 - Falling asleep results in two points off instead of one for every action you miss while sleeping.
- Rule #453 - Hands must stay out of pockets. Putting hands in pockets constitutes a foul and the other team gets a bonus round.
- Rule #2544 - Singing badly results in a penalty of spontaneous combustion.
[edit] Bonus Round
Bonus rounds occur once per game normally, but may occur more because a team gets a free bonus round when the other team makes a foul. A bonus round consists of shaking hands with as many teammates as possible and telling them "Points be with you." For every person on your team that you do this to, your team gains one point.
[edit] Overtime
In the case of a tie when the one-hour timer reaches zero, the game goes into overtime. The choir begins to sing. The Priest cues hand motions in time with the song. The tempo of the song gets faster and faster as the Priest's cues get harder and harder. Players only need one strike to get out during overtime. The team with the last player(s) standing wins.
