Massia
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“What the hell is a Massia?”
~ Captain Oblvious
Massia was formed in 2004 as a part of Fire Arms Reduction Talks (FART) between the United States of Nishua and the holy state of Chihuahua. Although Massia`s primary operation was to detonate unnecessary firearms at really dangerous locations (places like under your bed),they turned into a menacing mercenaries who then were taken over by the The Lord Nishnu at 20cents a stock(10billion dollars in total).
Interestingly, thousands of martians were put off by this seemingly disgusting procedure and gave up on their plans to invade Earth. [1]
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[edit] What Do Massia exactly do exactly?
Massia, currently owned and controlled by the Lord Nishnu has contributed to many bad doings. Lord Nishnu, as he is commonly known is a master of all things evil. As most of the members being reckless mercenaries, they help evil OAPs to cross the street and gives those fat yobbos Häagen-Dazs Icecream. Those OAPs and yobbos have been known to have caused the massive kablosion at the edge of Wales.
[edit] Plans for the future
Lord Nishnu has recently commanded his loyal crews to try to spread the network internationally.
In 2006, June 27th its diplomat was sent to Japan, a country filled with Godzillas and Tamagotchis. It is said that that particular diplomat was kidnapped by a common friendly Japanese local (quite typical). Having received this rather unhappy news, Lord Nishnu has hired a few friendly giants to greet those who have kidnapped his loyal mercenary.
“Innit, man, I havn't done nuffin or nuffin`.”
~ a Yobbo who has been killed by Massia
[edit] It`s current executives and honoured hitmen
At Massia, there are few executives or execubots and honoured hitmen who have contributed to the distribution of Massia ideology.
Masa - The former chief executive and the weirdo who set up this crap at the first place Lord Nishnu - Current Chief Execubot and honoured hitman of this organisation. The lord of Death - An death looking black cape wearing humanoid.
`They may be a bunch of pigs, capitalists, and goddamn bountyhunters, but they are not communists` - by Kim Jong-Ill
Sir James god of the afterlife
[edit] Similarly named organisations
Currently, Massia suffers from bullying carried out by similarly named organisations such as the Maffia and the Fammia.
“Massia is indeed a thorn in my side.”
~ Abraham Simpson
Recent conflicts include the gang fights in the streets of New New York.
[edit] Pope James VI
Pope James the 6th of Nishiuum worships the mighty massia He is also a communist pig.
[edit] Connections with the Masafumi Fish Works
In 2005, Massia has signed a treaty promising a 5 year program of cooperation between Masafumi Fish Works and Massia to produce the Fish Bomb. The recently appointed Chairman, Pope James VI, has commented that the relationship with Massia is as friendly as a monkey.
[edit] Coalition With Osaka Orangeade Soda
Massia has also signed a two year project which Massia promises to buy and propagate Osaka Orangeade Soda for two years until it gains 1% market share in return for a sack of concentrated uranium soda necessary to produce a high yield Fish Bomb.
[edit] Fish Bomb
The Fish Bomb, or Mother Of All Bombs as we`d like to call it here at Massia, is a weapons of mass stinktion(not extinction.. get it?). It is designated to explode in midair over a area filled with terrorists to spread Fishitis. A deadly disease that is known to spread hatred amongst the locals for the stench in which they live.
“No! I stink, You stink! I kill you!”
~ A local from the village of Darkaskastan
[edit] Consigliere Umos.C
Consigliere Umos is regarded as a legend. This is not because he has a funny moustache, no! its actually because he has advised the mighty Masa to merge Masafumi Tokyo Fish Works and MicroFish incorporated into our first non violent and profitable organisation.
The Masafumi Fish Works, as it is currently called, trades various species of fish including the Umos Fish, a mysterious deep-sea fish discovered by this peasant... i mean legend. For his accomplishments, Consigliere Umos has been given our traditional hologram of honour.
However, Mr Umos has recently been complaining that the he cannot actually touch the hologram. If this nonsense jibberjabber whining doesn't stop, it is rumoured that the chief in command (masa) is preparing to airdrop 50tonnes of smelly tuna fish above his house.
