Master baiter
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
A master baiter is one whose degree of baiting skill enables him to bait fish with a different, more minimalistic, set of equipment.
Contents |
[edit] Overview
Master baiters have existed since women were given an option in with whom they mate. We really should have stuck to the whole club on the head deal, it simplifies things greatly. How this led to their fishing techniques, however, has yet to be determined.
Master baiters are revered as the peak of male efficiency, capable of both providing sexual pleasure for oneself while satisfying their hunger.
Master baiters' original name was initially going to be translated to "expert baiters," but, luckily, the one who discovered them, incidentally the mother of a teenage boy, noticed the potential for a pun, and translated the term accordingly.
[edit] Procedure
In order to apply the master baiters' fishing techniques, one must be male, have at least one fully functional hand, and some sort of lubricant. There was once a school of master baiters that refused to lubricate, but they died out due to starvation, so let that serve as a warning: you won't catch any fish without Vaseline!
A master baiter satisfies multiple needs simultaneously by masturbating rhythmically so that marine life will take the intentionally produced sound to be a natural environmental factor. Since there is a lack of instinct pertaining to the course of action to take in such a case, they will come closer to investigate, falling into the master baiter's trap.
[edit] Variations
There are many schools of master baiters, with slightly different methods.
[edit] Schools of master baiters
- Those of the Vaselina school use Vaseline, often bought in bulk. There are unconfirmed rumors that they can do this because of a large financial surplus due to self-exclusion from the dating scene.
- The Tuhands school contains only the most gifted master baiters. They believe that the ability to be one of their kind is decided at birth. Many have tried to use pills, and all have ended in failure but for one occasion, but that guy blackmailed all of the local elders,
[edit] Organization
- Elders are the ruling class. The only guaranteed way to ascend to this position is by distributing pornography.
- Senior, which are pretty much the same as the next class, but have been around a bit longer.
- Master baiters, the bulk of every tribe.
- The Father, who is actually the Catholic priest to whom they go to confess their frequent sin. He is among their ranks involuntarily, as the only other option isn't too appealing.
[edit] Famous master baiters
- You
- Bill Clinton, but then he discovered Monica.
- Me
